You know though...my ol’ Aunt Jane entered an international fart contest....she let such a blast with such a distinct picante order(which is still lingering over Lake Erie) that even the Russian judge had to score her a 10.(which he then had her kidnapped by the Russian secret police for use as a sonic cannon against Chechnyan rebels...better than a neutron weapon with no radio active fallout that could be detected by any international monitoring groups. The UN radiation monitoring groups are just a pain in the royal Russian borscht, if you get my drift. Just don’t get into my Aunt Jane’s drift...if you get my meaning! Anyway they pay her well and when not on duty she lives in a nice dascha.... very far away from anyone else.)
PS:Of course it wasn’t called a ‘fart contest’...it was called the International Invitational Voluntary Flatulent Release Competition; judged by 4 categories....decibel amplitude, volumetric measurements and/or length of time of release, wetness vs dryness(dryer is better), and finally lethality. Under the lethality judging, special rules mitigate for lack of decibel noise range if lethality was rated quite high. This of course became known as the stealth or SBD(silent but deadly) clause and because of the SBD clause; a few previous winners were able to win, despite lack of decibel amplitude and volume
Sorry you don’t have much to do but I’m glad also because I thought the thing about your aunt Jane was funny and well done. Amazing how the mind can put together thoughts when they are idle. Very good, really.