Actually, they had a really old copy of WordPerfect that they weren't using to create type-written Air Force documents for Dan Rather anymore.
Turns out that it had a function key that does meltwater calculations. Slicker than snot.
[[Turns out that it had a function key that does meltwater calculations.]]
Hmmm, would that be the F-U key? (meaning to hell with the world- We’ll screw em all over key )