Posted on 02/16/2016 3:18:26 AM PST by Olog-hai
When Debra Aldridge became her grandson's primary caregiver, she was making $7.50 per hour as a cook. The alternative for the newborn, she was told, was to put him up for adoption. "I took one look at the little fella, and that was it," said Aldridge, now 62. "I couldn't let go."
For more than 11 years, Aldridge, who is divorced and lives in Chicago, has struggled to feed, house and clothe her "baby," Mario. As she ages, she is sinking deeper into poverty.
Nationwide, there are 2.7 million grandparents raising grandchildren, and about one-fifth have incomes that fall below the poverty line, according to census figures.
Their ranks are increasing. The number of grandparents raising grandchildren is up 7 percent from 2009. Experts say the trend is likely to continue as the nation responds to the opiate epidemic. Military deployment and a growth in the number of women incarcerated are other factors forcing grandparents to step into parental roles. ...
(Excerpt) Read more at bigstory.ap.org ...
This woman obviously hasn’t heard of the new scam. Women foster their daughters’ children and get paid by the state for doing so. One such woman was making over a $100,000 a year for fostering her daughters’ children. She said her daughter was like an ATM.
How about single mothers with no father in the picture?
I dunno. If these folks had just done their job as parents the first time, maybe they would not need to do a repeat.
That said, even our high achieving kids seem to look to us as their potential babysitters so they can continue to pursue their careers.
I feel everyone deserves to enjoy their older adult years without
Being tied down once again. Highlights the importance of getting it right the first time.
Don’t expect an improvement in society with grandparents screwing up two generations on the taxpayers’ dime.
Grandmother and grandchild. The middle people are missing.
What about the next generation? Is the missing mother going to show up and care of the children of these children?
I don’t think so.
In past years, after age 40 people were expected to sit on the porch and rock. Today, they're doing all sorts of things--new careers, new hobbies, new sports, new romances, going back to college.
And look at all the Information Age has made available!
The first thing I did when I retired (at age 53) was enroll in college with a full freshman load. MAN! WAS IT FUN! AND I WANTED AN A in every class (and got it).
Part of this energy is also directed into helping to raise the grandchildren.
I think it's great for my children to continue their education and embark on fascinating adventures.
I also love giving my grandchildren as many opportunities as I can.
And furthermore--there is great wisdom that comes with age. (It's not inevitable; some people manage not to acquire it.) And it can be imparted to grandchildren as well as children. Somewhat removed from the dramas and conflicts that tend to confuse the relationships between parents and their children, grandchildren tend to be much more receptive to the wisdom of their grandparents than they sometimes are to that of their parents.
I had the privilege of living across the road from 2 of my grandchildren. We’ve worked together, vacationed together and played together. I think I have been quite an asset in their lives, I know they have been a gift to me.
Thanks to phones, the internet, holidays and summers I stayed close to the two who grew up far away.
They are in college and though they don’t ask for anything I help them out, last week I bought 2 computers, (Don’t buy Microsoft Surface, they lasted about 18 months.)
I’m looking forward to being a great-grandparent in a few years.
If my grandchildren treat me the way they treated their great-grandmother when I’m old I will feel very lucky.
I’ve had a similar experience. It’s one of the greatest joys of my life. Grandchildren are more fun than the first litter. For one thing, the parent-child dramas are attenuated. But you love your children and grandchildren all the same.
“I dunno. If these folks had just done their job as parents the first time, maybe they would not need to do a repeat.”
Don’t be in such a hurry to cast blame. Things happen in peoples’ lives—death, illness, unemployment. Maybe you’ve led a charmed life but there are lots of folks who end up needing help through no fault of their own. I’ve found it’s the people who have overcome adversity that have the most compassion.
I dunno. If these folks had just done their job as parents the first time, maybe they would not need to do a repeat.
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ah yes, only if we had full control of our children’s lives, and will in every aspect, everything would be hunky-dory. Life happens. Great families sometimes have not so great children, free will abounds.
We are not raising our grandson but kind of co-parenting. We moved next door to them to help. DIL is very ill and in palliative care. Our grandson has severe autism, on a scale of 0 to 26 he is rated a 25. There is no way, no matter how great a parent you are that you can handle this situation without help.
That’s a genuine concern and not abandonment by family. Your situation is family pulling together.
My Grandson moved in with us at age 1 month. That was almost 3 years ago.
Never planned on raising a grandchild. Life happens.
Wouldn’t change it.
Slackers find new word UNLOADING.
My aunt and uncle have taken three children from their pill head daughter to raise, eventually pawning them all off on another sibling to raise. I see it in my area quite a bit. It is beyond sad. I hate to say it but after the first drug addicted baby the mother should have her tubes tied no matter what their age. I am tired of the government scamming from me to pay for other peoples kids they can’t or won’t take care of. It sounds mean but dammit what about my own kids.
“I dunno. If these folks had just done their job as parents the first time, maybe they would not need to do a repeat.â€
Don’t be in such a hurry to cast blame. Things happen in peoples’ lives—death, illness, unemployment. Maybe you’ve led a charmed life but there are lots of folks who end up needing help through no fault of their own. I’ve found it’s the people who have overcome adversity that have the most compassion.
Honestly I don’t mean to cast blame. In fact, I myself was raised for a year or more by my own grandmother. But why? Because my parents were out cheating on each other, running around, doing everything but being responsible parents. The burden fell on my grandparents. Was it their fault? I don’t know. Somewhere along the line my parents got the message that it was ok to screw up because mom and dad would pick up the slack.
I on the other hand, having come from such an arrangement, did not receive the same support from the same said parents. When it came time for ME to be a parent, they slipped back into their old ways — don’t come looking to me for help ...etc, etc.
I’m saying some people are the victims of unfortunate circumstances, but some are truly selfish and irresponsible. but how do they get that way? Is it parenting? I think sometimes it’s not intentional poor parenting, but poor nonetheless to enable kids so much that they don’t believe they owe anyone anything.
God bless you for the burden you carry.
Everything you said is true.
It’s a labor of love When someone you love needs help there is no other choice. We will do what we can to lighten their load.
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