Posted on 03/31/2016 2:58:03 AM PDT by SunkenCiv
“the Lampoon’s “Bored of the Rings”-it was one of the most wickedly funniest satires ever “
I’ll vouch for that. I had some of it memorized and I would torment my LOTR loving friends by reciting it. I was a heretic in their beady little eyes.
“Keep me covered,” said Legolam, “I’ll head them off”
“Guard the rear,” said Gimlet, “I’ll take the passage.”
“Hold the fort,” said Goodgulf, “I’ll circle around.”
“Stand fast,” said Bromosel, “I’ll draw them off”
“Pyongyang panmunjon,” shouted the narc chieftan.
The company stampeded across the hall and out a side passage with the narcs at their heels. As they rushed out, Goodgulf slammed shut the door in the narcs’ faces and hastily put a spell on it.
“Hawley Smoot,” he said, striking the door with his wand, and with a smokey ‘foof’ the door disappeared, leaving the Wizard face-to-face with the puzzled narcs. Goodgulf quickly produced a lengthy confession, signed it, and thrusting it into the chieftan’s hands, raced away up the passage to where the rest of the company stood at the far end of a narrow rope bridge which spanned the sharp chasm.
As Goodgulf stepped onto the bridge the passage echoed with an ominous ‘dribble, dribble’, and a great crowd of narcs burst forth. In their midst was a towering dark shadow too terrible to describe. In its hand it held a huge black globe and on its chest was written the cruel runes “Villanova.”
“Aiyee,” shouted Legolam. “A Ballhog!”
:’) One axled haywains — 1 farthing; Two axled haywains — 2 farthings; Black Riders — 50 gold pieces.
Yeah, well, what’s that tell ya about the “Toba super-eruption”? ;’)
Somewhere,I think I still have that book.
It didn't get cold in Flores.
I saw an ash cloud map once, can"t find it now, it showed all the ash drifting away toward India.
“He would have finished Goddam off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. ‘It’s a pity I’ve run out of bullets,’ he thought.”
I hate it when the data no longer supports a good 'story' like the Toba catastrophe.
C'est la vie
Heh, one of those was posted by some guy named blam. ;’)
I haven’t seen the copy of Bored that we had since maybe 1980-I’ve no idea where it went-but I’d bet real money that very few of today’s Haavahd snowflakes have the linguistic skills or appreciation for subtlety required to enjoy that satire-damned shame...
“In fact, Homo floresiensis seems to have disappeared soon after our species reached Flores”
Lunch.
They were tricked out by pimps newly arrived from mainland Asia.
I saw that. Don't know what to make of it.
:’)
I’m not sure I ever had a copy of it, but be sure that I did read it, not long after completing the LOTR for the first time (total read-throughs, probably seven, although I generally learned to skip most of the Barrow Downs), and tried my hand at similar send-ups; the most work I did on one (at age 14, so...) was of Alice in Wonderland.
“He would have finished Goddam off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. ‘It’s a pity I’ve run out of bullets,’ he thought.”
That was my favorite line. It still makes me laugh.
:)
Wrong Lampoon. ;’)
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