[Califreak]

Please don’t respond until I finish. I broke it up so I wouldn’t lose the whole thing in one go if I goof up.

Anyway, the place was clean and he seemed to be okay when we came to visit. It looked like they were keeping him clean and we thought everything would work out.

My son and I saw him on Friday night and they had a good talk about his job.

As I mentioned before, he seemed to be doing okay.

So my husband and I didn’t get down there until almost dinnertime the next day. We were shocked to see how far he had slipped in just 24 hours. He was sleeping a lot before but he was much less responsive and when he tried to talk we couldn’t understand a word he said for a bit. We fed him a little dinner and he wasn’t eating well and had trouble swallowing. At the hospital he ate almost everything and as I fed him, he was able to tell me what he wanted next.

We wondered if he’d had another stroke the night before after my son and I left. He was in a dirty diaper when we got there. After we got the CNAs to change him and we tried to feed him we got worried and called the advice nurse from the hospital that placed him in the rehab place. They told us to alert the staff at the nursing home. We told them our concerns and they said they would monitor him so we left.

We picked up some food he likes. Instant breakfast, pudding and the like. Our plan was to show up, start feeding him through the day and hopefully he would get stronger.

All he could manage was a third of the instant breakfast drink. My husband and I picked up my mother who had clout to make decisions and we were going to try and feed him again but he got even worse in just a few hours.

We called the advice nurse again because we had figured out that he couldn’t drink water on his own or use the call button

She told us to call 911 and get him to ER right away which is what we wanted to do the night before. Now he is in ICU with kidney and possible lung infection and completely unresponsive

(They sedated him so all his energy could go to healing from infection)

I just don’t understand why he got put into that place when I could plainly see he needed more.

I am going to be more careful now. He is getting phenomenal care in the ICU right now but whoever decided he was fit for the rehab place really dropped the ball in my opinion and I dropped the ball when I trusted them to make that decision.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading.

Seeking freeper advice, thoughts and wisdom. Prayer too if you have a minute.

Thank you.

[Chickensoup]

We live in a time where healthcare is becoming third world. In third world countries, when someone goes to the hospital, families go with them to nurse them and advocate for them. Otherwise there is minimal to no care, at best. As we enter this phase, we continue to expect that the system will do its best for our loved ones, it is no longer true.

You must be a constant advocate, and frankly, having 24 hour private care and advocacy is important. I know that this sounds extreme, but there are outside forces like payment caps and keeping people in ER special areas that are not covered by Medicare so hospital wont be dinged for readmission that figure into healthcare these days.

I am so sorry.

[skr]

Your family is in my prayers.

It’s not new that there are some places that are good and some that aren’t when it comes to medical rehab/recovery. Each of my mother’s parents had questionable care at two different places and years apart.

You just have to be unafraid to ask questions or to change to another facility.

[Rockingham]

In my limited experience, stroke care seems to often be badly done, or at least sloppy, because family and care givers may not immediately recognize the full extent and nature of the stroke and of any ensuing care issues. In addition, hospitals usually want to quickly move stroke patients into rehab so as to free up a hospital bed and avoid the risk of hospital acquired infections. Indeed, getting in a decent rehab facility is usually far better than languishing in a hospital bed without any rehab work.

I wish for the best for your father, your family, and yourself.

[sneakers]

I just read the second half of your post. I have no advice to give Califreak. I’m sending up prayers though - for your dad and your family. When something like this happens, you are thankful that they got the help they need, but when you notice that something is just not right, you want to trust that the medical staff is noticing too and will listen to your concerns and take them seriously.

Prayers sent!