By the way, married for over 20 years. have a son 21 and daughter, 17.
JMHO, the only reason to divorce is when your spouse is a danger to you (including cheating, for example, as dangerous behavior).
If one spouse isn’t dangerous in some way, then maybe the two of you just need to learn to reconnect somehow.
Never initiate a divorce, especially when you have kids under thirty.
If your spouse files for divorce, it’s on them.
Up and until that point, put in the effort to try and make things better and find a way to make yourself happy.
Unless there is physical abuse, staying together is what your kids expect and want, and marriage isn’t about you or your spouse, it’s about the kids.
Not until your daughter is at least 18
But you don’t say if you have been the kind of person he wants to come home to. Women complain about there husbands but often don’t see that they have been too busy being a mom to be a wife
“A son 21 and daughter, 17.” I have learned from divorce lawyers that a couple should do anything to avoid a divorce: say please, thank you and live in separate parts of the house.