I don’t know what has happened to people either. I married a wonderful man who behaved in the polite & kind manner that you described.
A few years ago, he turned into the other “man” that you described. He suffered a concussion, so I thought maybe it was that. But, sometimes I wonder if it’s just the overwhelming “crappiness” of society that gets to even decent people? Particularly if you don’t REALLY take care not to hang around with the wrong people & in other ways try to make sure that your moral compass stays firmly grounded.
Whatever it is leaves their victims injured, heartbroken & alone.
I hope your hubby comes around. Being true to yourself takes work and commitment.