We worked patiently to help our son heal and adjust to his new life with our family. Trauma from his early days in an orphanage was fueling some negative behaviors. While I had enormous compassion for the hardships he experienced in his early days, I felt myself begin to withdraw from him emotionally because of those behaviors. Ashamed, I shared my struggle with his therapist. Her gentle reply hit home: He needs you to go first . . . to show him hes worthy of love before hell be able to act like it.
John pushes the recipients of his letter to an incredible depth of love, citing Gods love as both the source and the reason for loving one another (1 John 4:7, 11). I admit I often fail to show such love to others, whether strangers, friends, or my own children. Yet Johns words spark in me renewed desire and ability to do so: God went first. He sent His Son to demonstrate the fullness of His love for each of us. Im so thankful He doesnt respond as we all are prone to do by withdrawing His heart from us.
Though our sinful actions dont invite Gods love, He is unwavering in offering it to us (Rom. 5:8). His go-first love compels us to love one another in response to, and as a reflection of, that love.
Have you found its easier to make up after an argument if the other person makes the first move? Maybe they dont even apologize, but you see in their eyes and hear in their voice that they care about you. If Jesus went first and showed us His love, can we now make that first move and show love to someone else? Mart DeHaan