Posted on 09/07/2017 1:45:08 PM PDT by Red Badger
One that drives me nuts are people who pronounce Jaguar as “Jag-wire”. “Jag-war” is fine, the Brits say “Jag-u-ar” and that’s OK too, but only morons say “Jag-wire”.
But now that they are going electric, I guess “Jag-wire” will be their new name, along with the smell of burning insulation.
Oops! One that = One thing that
Lucas the Prince of Darkness
•Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner “How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same. “ - “He replied, “It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !”
•The Lucas motto: “Get home before dark.”
•Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
•Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
•Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
•The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
•The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
•>Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices
•Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
•”I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou...”
•If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
•A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an an occasional ice cold shower...
•Back in the 70’s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
•Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
•Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
•Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars,kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:” Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant..”
Good for them.
It’s further from Houston to El Paso than it is from one end of the British isle to the other (Land’s End to John O’Groats).
Dick Van Dyke was in a Jaguar when it caught fire.
Jaguar are known to have electrical problems. Would you buy a electric Jaguar knowing at any moment you could become charcoal?
Article
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2013/aug/20/dick-van-dyke-cheats-death-sports-car-fire
Video of fire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPiG3gFRjHE
LOL!.....................
VERY GOOD!......................
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