Getting Old?

friends email | 9/22/2017 | unknown

[sodpoodle]

I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?" I looked at her, and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator.” She didn't quite know how to respond.

Am I getting to be that age?

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it 'Pumping Rust.'

When people see a cat's litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it's for company!”

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write,‘An ambulance.'

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ' The' and ' IRS ' together it spells 'Theirs...'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

May you always have Love to Share, Cash to Spare, And Friends who Care.

[sodpoodle]

escape from HRC saturation;)

[Purdue77]

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write,‘An ambulance.'

The nurse didn't know how to respond when I answered that question with "the doctor" when filling out the first time patient form.

But, a guy knows he is old when parts of the body that shouldn't be stiff are and the part of the body that should be stiff isn't.

[CopperTop]

"..The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.."

That ain't fat. That's a month's worth of food "preps" I carry with me at all times!! d;^D

[prisoner6]

This is great!

[Gay State Conservative]

...and the part of the body that should be stiff isn't.

My spine is plenty stiff...but thanks for asking!

[2nd amendment mama]

Thank you for sharing! There are a few on there that I’m going to “steal”.

[IrishPennant]

Very nice list...

Not the same but I still stay in contact with my best friend since childhood. He sadly became a widower in his early forties...pretty much stayed to himself until his mid-fifties, when he remarried to a wonderful woman who had also been widowed and alone for sometime.

I laughed so hard when he told me how becoming romantic and passionate again at our age is tough on the body...said they would both complain about minor aches, pains, and what felt like they had been in a bike accident some days.

Now he claims jokingly that they are going to coauthor a book on pre-sex excercises for the middle aged.

[Chainmail]

You know that you’re getting old when you’re only person anyone knows who can operate a record player.

[McGavin999]

Very nice......and funny

[sneakers]

OMG! I love it!!! I am SO THERE!

Thanks for the ping!

sneaks

[Daffynition]

[Vaduz]

Welcome to the club.

[T-Bone Texan]

You know you’re getting old when you have a sense of victory upon having a successful BM.

[Susquehanna Patriot]

“I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.”

...your you find it is deflated...

THANKS for sharing this!

[4yearlurker]

True. My son-in-law bought a 8mm projector and didn't have a clue as how to start it let alone feed the film through. Its the old man to the rescue!

[bgill]

There comes a time when oral sex is when you just talk about it.

[Tax-chick]

When people see a cat's litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?” Just once I want to say, “No, it's for company!”

"Here's your sign ...."

[pgkdan]

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

AMEN!

[certrtwngnut]

Thank you for the respite from from the stuff we see here and elsewhere everyday.

[ghostkatz]

Love it !! I can remember Pythagoreans Theorem but not were I put my car keys. And my once perfect spelling has flown the coop ! Lord help us oldies but goodies !