Let's introduce the bachelors(i.e. those who think of themselves as such according to PC language rules):
Bachelor #1's idea of a perfect 1st date is at the office with delivery pizza, a cigar and a very personal stain on your tight little blue dress.
Bachelor #2 likes to keep in touch by texting photos of the physical feature from which his family name comes
Bachelor #3 says his secret to winning the girl in a restaurant is stroking the meat in the hall