[Pearls Before Swine]

So Michelle focused on controlling Barack.

Hillary focused on controlling Bill.

I see a pattern here.

[ClearCase_guy]

“They go high, we go low. Because we’re trash.”

[exit82]

"Remember who you always were, where you came from, who your parents were, how they raised you."

Her own husband stuggles with this one.

[Slyfox]

Here is Benjamin Franklin reading Moochie's Quotes, and he is not happy:

[Architect of Avalon]

She needs to run for President in 2020.

[simpson96]

“Success doesn’t count unless you earn it fair and square.”

So, everything she’s got her whole life doesn’t count.

These quotes make her sound as delusional as Hillary.

Liberals really do live in an alternate, upside-down reality.

[research99]

"Success doesn't count unless you earn it fair and square."

A $300,000 job with the Medical Center of the University of Chicago?

The largest staff of an Office supporting the First Lady in our history?

[Mr Rogers]

“Focus on what you can control.”

Actually....understanding and predicting forces well outside one’s control is often critical to success. And you can’t understand something without focus.

I don’t control gravity, but I’d better know how it affects me. A business cannot control the growth of the Internet, but a lot of stores have gone out of business by ignoring it.

An investor cannot control tax law, but he’d better focus on it some of the time.

Hillary couldn’t control Bill, but she might not be a bitter old shrew if she had divorced him early on.

[Celerity]

So....

... Focus on nothing.

I say her same thing, but with a different twist: This list of what you can and can’t control changes as you get older. As you become a parent, as you become a boss, a home-owner, etc.

Start with this, millenials - Clean your damned living quarters.

I mean seriously, everyone seems to skip this crucial step and then they wonder why they are surrounded by things they can’t control. Don’t see what’s right in front of their noses.

[Disestablishmentarian]

Better: Trust in God through Jesus Christ.

[MuttTheHoople]

Somehow, the term "lipstick on a pig" comes to mind.

[Governor Dinwiddie]

Deep thoughts, by Jack Handey.

[bunkerhill7]

Verbum satire

[Spok]

Did she mention being black and grabbing all the affirmative action benefits? I had a friend who was born into major wealth. I called him lucky once. He said “If you think it’s so easy, you try it.”

[BenLurkin]

What would she know about being successful?

[butlerweave]

The write a book money laundering only works with Elite Democrats

[Kickass Conservative]

My Fathers inspirational words as said to a whining Teenager (me, way back when), “nobody owes you a living, so shut up and get back to work”.

[aMorePerfectUnion]

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) [R2-D2 and Chewbacca are playing the holographic game aboard the Millennium Falcon]
Chewbacca: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!
C-3PO: He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you.
Han Solo: Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
C-3PO: But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.
Han Solo: That's 'cause droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.
Chewbacca: Grrf.
C-3PO: I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the Wookiee win.

[DaxtonBrown]

She left off “Get born to a rich white daddy.”

And other uplifting memes.

[Leep]

Get politically connected. Then get a 300k a year “no show” job?