[Impy]

Christmas is almost here! What gift would you like, Belly Betton Chick?

"Besides the key to that padlock you've got on the door? I already told you, a fancy smartphone, like the one Al has."

"Ziggy, caluclate the odds of Impy being able to afford one of you. Let's see here, Ziggy says the odds are one in 700 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahundred thousand he could afford one unless he sells a kidney. But they'll rise to 98% in two years once Ziggy is badly obsolete."

I've grown fond of my internal organs, best choose something else, love.

"Ok I want......Bears GM Ryan Pace's dirty doodoo head on a spike."

Hmmmmm, Santa?

"That's doable. And what would like, NFL Commissioner Smith?"

"10 more echo dots, one for every room of the ship. And for Roger Goodell to to stop squatting in MY office! Yaaaaar!"

"But Jane kicked me out, I have no place else to go. Hey Santa, can I have the cure for micropenis? Maybe Jane would take me back if my member was visible to the naked eye."

"Sorry bozo, I'm fresh out. Try the Wizard of Oz. And what would you like, little girl, maybe one of those doohickeys that burns off ladies' facial hair?"

"Hey, I'm a boy!"

"Ho ho huh? Sorry, it's just with the hair I thought you were Frank and Elsa Stein's little girl. So, what do you want then, little boy?"

"Who are you calling boy!? I want my OWN NFL team. That way I could finally play again! I hear the Panthers are availible."

But if you had a team you'd want them to win, right?

"Well of course, honky, what's your point?"

You need a good quaterback to win, do you see where I'm going with this?

"Ah nuts."

"And what shall I put in your stocking, Pittsburgh Stoolers Head Coach Omar Epps?"

"Someone that can explain to me what a 'football move' is."

"Yaar, Alexa, what's a 'football move'?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know that."

"Stephen Hawking, Sheldon from 'The Big Bang Theory' and I are working on figuring out what a 'football move' is, we'll let you know."

"Alexa, what's the armor that covers your neck called?"

"Do I look a Google Home™ to you, Bears GM Ryan Pace? Ask me something I know, like the weather in Calcutta."

"Alexa, what's the weather in Calcutta?"

"The weather in Caluctta Ohio is 45 degrees with clear skies."

"I didn't know Calcutta was in Ohio. I shoulda paid more attention in school."

"The piece of armor you seek is called a gorget."

"Thanks, your Grace. Alexa add 'gorget' to my shopping list."

[Impy]

Bender's NFL Thread: Ping

Merry Christmas!!!

[Chainmail]

More NFL treason.

[tomkat]

Disgraceful Thread, Week 16

[Dagnabitt]

Since this is the thread to promote anti-American organizations:

Antifa schedule for this weekend:

Cleveland: Rally at the veterans cemetery to deface monuments..

Philadelphia: Airport meet-up to spit on people in military uniform.

Seattle: March and flag burning. Just because.

.

Black Lives Matter weekend schedule:

Detroit: Basketball shoe donation drive. Locations vary. Please bring own brick.

San Francisco: Huey Newton Theater: Lecture: "Paternity Tests. How to beat them"

[tumblindice]

[Enterprise]

Well, for Christmas I will certainly humbly accept BBG. And I don't want her the change a thing! But I must redeem myself in her eyes, since I had a less that stellar week. No fault of my own though, I WAS ROBBED TWICE IN THE SAME DAY!

Anyway, I think there's not going to be a lot of disagreement in picks this week.

Baltimore
Minnesota
New Orleans
New England (5 star lock of the week! Call now and receive two additional picks for huge discount!)
Chicago
Washington
Detroit
Chargers
Rams
Kansas City
Carolina (Future home of Pee Diddy and Kraperdork)
Jacksonville
Arizona
Dallas
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia

[big'ol_freeper]

Heading into week 16 with the Super Bowl in sight....here are this weeks results..

.... despite the ass kissing antifarians

[al_c]

Ravens
Vikes
Saints
Patsies
Browns for their one win this season
Broncos
Lions
Bolts
Rams
Chiefs
Panthers
Jags
Cards
COWBOYS!!!
Steelers
Philly

[Jim W N]

Here ya go. I see no good match-ups accept for maybe Seattle at Dallas. As of today, LA Rams ranked #1 (using my stats). Who would have thunk it?

Picks:

Baltimore
Minnesota
New Orleans
New England
Chicago
Washington
Detroit
L.A. Chargers
L.A. Rams
Kansas City
Carolina
Jacksonville
Arizona
Seattle
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia

[Rummyfan]

Week 16! Not as good a slate as last week but still games with playoff implications. Here we go!

Saturday, Dec 23, 2017 (All times Eastern)

Indianapolis at Baltimore 4:30 pm NFLN M&T Bank Stadium The Ravens are still in the playoff hunt, needing only to win out. And while they have a disturbing habit of playing to their opponents level, the offense has definitely come alive the last month. So I don't see them blowing this game against the Colts, who are the very definition of dysfunction. Ravens.

Minnesota at Green Bay 8:30 pm NBC Lambeau Field Aaron Rodgers is on the shelf, and the Vikings are fighting for the top seed in the NFC, and feature a fearsome defense. Bret Hundley, watch out! Vikings.

Sunday, Dec 24, 2017

Atlanta at New Orleans 1:00 pm FOX Mercedes-Benz Superdome The Falcons seem to have turned things around, but facing the Saints in New Orleans is a tall order. One would expect a shoot-out, but then again, one never knows do one? Still I like the Saints at home. Saints.

Buffalo at New England 1:00 pm CBS Gillette Stadium Here's something one usually does not say in Week 16: the Bills are still in the playoff hunt! Now a tall order in facing the Pats. And things could get ugly with The Gronk Situation. However... the Pats are looking to lock up the Number 1 seed in the AFC and they'll just be too much for the Bills. Patriots.

Cleveland at Chicago 1:00 pm CBS Soldier Field Can the Browns finally get a W this week? Well, Chicago has certainly not been a powerhouse, but they do seem to have the AFC North's number. Although... thinking... Cleveland does have a good D.... What the heck, let's go out on a limb. BROWNS!

Denver at Washington 1:00 pm CBS FedEx Field Denver has rebounded, although it's too late in the season to make a difference. Meanwhile, the Kirk Cousins audition for free agency continues. For some reason I like Denver.... Broncos.

Detroit at Cincinnati 1:00 pm FOX Paul Brown Stadium Marvin Lewis' swansong is not turning out to be a pretty farewell tour. Lions.

L.A. Chargers at N.Y. Jets 1:00 pm CBS MetLife Stadium My Bolts laid an egg in KC last week. But, the Jets are still the Jets despite some surprising wins this season. Chargers.

L.A. Rams at Tennessee 1:00 pm FOX Nissan Stadium How can you pick against the Rams after that shellacking they laid on the Seahags last week? I won't! Rams.

Miami at Kansas City 1:00 pm CBS Arrowhead Stadium Kansas City, while having won two in a row against division rivals, doesn't exactly inspire confidence having lost six-of-seven prior to that. The Dolphins aren't exactly a fearsome opponent, but one never knows when Jay Cutler will play like Sammy Baugh. Or when he will play like Jay Cutler.... Chiefs.

Tampa Bay at Carolina 1:00 pm FOX Bank of America Stadium Seems like it's always next year for the Buccos. And Carolina... looks like they have shrugged off that two-year Super Bowl hangover. What kind of hat will Cam wear this week in the post-game presser? Panthers.

Jacksonville at San Francisco 4:05 pm CBS Levi's Stadium A good test to see if Jacksonville is for real. No way they should lose this game, despite Jimmy Garropolo. It's hard to get behind a team with Blake Bortles as QB but that D is magnificent. Jaguars.

N.Y. Giants at Arizona 4:25 pm FOX University of Phoenix Stadium Ah, the G-Men.... Ah, the Cardinals. Ah, Bruce Arians will pull something out of the air to win this game, and the Giants are just too depleted injury-wise. Cardinals.

Seattle at Dallas 4:25 pm FOX AT&T Stadium One of these teams is going to be eliminated from the post season. Zeke is back and although Russell Wilson has been playing superbly, we saw last week that the Seahawks just ain't the same intimidating bunch they were. The 'Boys have grown in confidence the last few weeks, and with Elliot back, well... Cowboys.

Monday, Dec 25, 2017

Pittsburgh at Houston 4:30 pm NFLN NRG Stadium Yes, it was a tough loss by the Steelers last week, and haggling and nitpicking over a controversial call notwithstanding, they blew it. But that was last week and this is this week and the Texans have too many missing parts, and the Steelers even without Antonio Brown are too good. Steelers.

Oakland at Philadelphia 8:30 pm ESPN Lincoln Financial Field Whether it would be Carson Wentz (it won't), Nick Foles, or Ron Jaworski, the Eagles will win this game. Eagles.

And in today's bowl game of interest.....

Army beats San Diego State!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!!

[PROCON]

50 Years Ago!

Here's some new pictures that have emerged of the Dec. 31, 1967 "Ice Bowl" between the Green Bay Packers and Dallas Cowboys that I thought you all would enjoy.

Merry Christmas!

Photos: Never-before-seen photos of historic NFL 1967 'Ice Bowl'