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“The reason men and women have so many issues is that COMMUNICATION is missing or non existent.”

When was communication about feeling or the relationship ever part of marriage in the past? I ask that as a woman.

In the old days her father asked about intentions.

Without her father she won’t say anything for fear of scaring him off.
By the time she does bring it up she is normally mad
and comes off sounding shrill and demanding which she hates having to do.
Normally, she also gives an ultimatum at that point.
If he loves her they normally get married.

Men hate discussing their feelings and won’t unless forced.

Men will talk about things that interest them.
Men can talk all day about work or cars or sports
or whatever. Unless the wife has the same interests there‘s not a lot to talk about that he wants to talk about.
Women love to talk about relationships and other things and she thinks her husband should be interested in them too. She is wrong. She’s been lied to and believes if
he won’t talk to her then something is wrong.
In the old days if the kids did anything wrong then the dad would spank them and it would be over.
Now it needs to be discussed and he hates that and does not want to do it.
In the old days if the house needed to be fixed, the man would say I’ll take care of it.
What color to paint would be up to the wife.
He does not care what color you paint the bedroom.
He has never cared and does not want to talk about it.
So what is left???
Well now days and probably before 1960 though it might have been subtle, before marriage the woman was playful and fun. He was romantic.

I think men change to a positive point of now he needs to
be the provider and protector after marriage.
Women don’t know what to do if they are working.
They don’t have a lot of role models for how a marriage “works” when the wife works. And they have all this time at work and at home to think about their life.
If women start thinking they are equals then there is a problem. If a woman wants to discuss decisions that men normally make as provider and protector, he feels threatened if she acts like she has a say.
Ships only have 1 captain for a reason.

Now days, it’s different. If both work, there is so much time to fill up. Laundry is easy and faster with the washer and dryer. Today’s floors are easier to clean than wooden planks. Kids are not spanked and that causes problems. A woman is not home with the kids and loses control of them and that drives her crazy but she doesn’t know why.
In the old days after married, the couple would be so busy trying just to survive and get by. Women were very busy washing clothes by hand and scrubbing everything clean.
Taking care of kids and cooking. Making things and living by a budget. The husband worked hard and had to fix anything that broke.

I think respect is the most important thing in a marriage and that is set when they meet.
It is hard to earn respect after you have behaved like a slut.
It is also hard to earn respect after you have treated her like a slut.

Respect starts with your thought process. Do you think positive thoughts about your spouse?

Before we women get married we have a list of positive things about the man and
we use that list to justify why we are marrying this person.

In fact we women have some kind of justification for almost everything we do.

For some reason I have yet to learn, many women today (women in America) throw away that list after marriage and start a negative list of all the things wrong with him.

I read a great book about marriage. “After every wedding comes a marriage”.

It taught me to throw away the negative list and start a positive one and doing that one thing helped me soooo much.