Skip to comments.Online dating lowers self-esteem and increases depression, studies say
Posted on 05/30/2018 7:01:51 AM PDT by C19fan
Before there were smartphones, singles would often go to bars or clubs and try to meet "the One," or at least the one for that night. Alcohol-induced courage and a steep bar tab later, singles were on top of their game or it was "game over" -- until the next weekend.
Technology has saved singles from all that. With smartphones, we can now carry millions of potential love interests in our pockets. The next person is just a few swipes, clicks or texts away.
(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...
It depends on where you have set your objective.
Is it maximum hook-ups or a relationship based on similar values.
Before the bar scene there were community get together, church outings and ice cream socials where people met, got to know each other, began dating and either broke off or got married to people they stayed with because they actually knew them before they dated.
So far, I have had the best luck with Match.com
The best advice is to look where the percentages are the best.
WFM: Silicon Valley
I’ve lost count of the number of couples I’ve seen in restaurants, both on their phones instead of talking to one another.
DUH! the person who uses online “dating,” does not have any self-esteem and is willing to give his/her personal information to other losers who pretend that they are professionals who are just too busy to meet people.
Depression is increased by knowledge that one has lied on his/her profile, and the other “special one” has also lied.
“Dating” doesn’t mean dating. It means “Let’s get naked and see if we like it. If so, we’ll call it a relationship.”
I think it brings on a “lots of fish in the sea” syndrome, where one thinks if the potential mate isn’t absolutely perfect, they can easily find one that is.
online dating is for control freaks who wish to have a date made in their own image- think about that- they have a whole laundry list of character traits they basically demand from a potential date before deigning to grace the sucker... errr- date with their presence - and if those traits are lacking in any way- usually the date is a bust
exactly- again, that goes back to the control freak scenario-
I think back to the time when most people were born, lived and died pretty much in the same place. When it came time to find a mate, there were only so many possibilities, and odds were that your mate would be far from perfect, but “good enough”, and you did what you had to do to make it work.
Of course now in a more mobile society things are completely different.
[[your mate would be far from perfect, but good enough, and you did what you had to do to make it work.]]
Precisely- but in today’s me me me society- unless the mate is perfect in the eyes of the person- then they are discarded- not everyone of course- but a growing minority of folks are not willing to make it work-
I can echo that story. The lady that I met online lived about two and a half hours away. After I sent her a response indicating that I was interested in getting to know her better, she hesitated to respond. She told me later that it was because I was so far away. I told her that I had a car and wasn't afraid to use it. So, after about three weeks of corresponding online and talking on the telephone, we made arrangements to meet at a restaurant near her that was just off the interstate so that it would be easier for me to find it.
We then spent three months of dating .. I would leave my house on Saturday morning and drive up to Fort Worth to spend the day with her, and then drive back to Fort Hood at about midnight on Saturday. After that, I proposed and we were married, and have been happily so for 13 years.
Personally, I found it easier to avoid the pressures of becoming too intimate too quickly because of the long distance. We had no sexual relations until after we were married. There was no rush. The couple of times that I went to visit her over the weekend, I stayed at the home of mutual friends. When she came to visit me over a weekend, I made her a reservation at the local hotel. We made plans on how we were going to spend our time together: fishing, eating out, watching DVDs, cooking together ... it wasn't a matter of, "Hey, you're just down the road. Let's get together and hang out", and all of the potential trouble that may have caused.
I could never do it. Especially not in an era where the Naked Selfie has become America’s #1 courting ritual.
Yeah. That is NOT a good look for most of us.
After my ex divorced me, I subscribed to eHarmony on four different occasions. I got plenty of matches. In fact, I was matched up with 17 women I already knew, including two I had dated before. Some of the matches made no sense, AT ALL. I think it was because there are far many more women who sign up than men. I was getting 5-6 matches a day and most women only got 2-3 per month and eHarmony expanded the criteria so women could get a few more matches.
Met my second wife on line on match.com. I lived in Vancouver, WA and she lived outside of Houston. I flew down about 20 times (my younger son is an airline pilot so flying was cheap) moved down to Texas after the power came down after Hurricane Ike, got married 1.5 years later; and it’s been great. I tell the guys in my Bible study that I never realized how peaceful a marriage could be.
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