[\/\/ayne]

I remember an ancient joke about an important Roman who never spoke publicly. So when he mounted a speaking pedestal in the public square everyone rushed to hear what he finally had to say.

"Do you see that tree over on my property at the edge of the square?" the man proclaimed. "Many people have hanged themselves from it over the years. I just wanted to let everyone know I'm cutting it down next week - in case anyone wants to use it."

[SunkenCiv]

First time I read that (in this lifetime anyway) was in the National Lampoon, I was just expecting to find it online somewhere, but imagine my surprise just now.

More classical Roman suicide jokes:

https://www.purplemotes.net/2015/12/20/husband-suicide-cicero/

The Nat Lamp list included this thigh-slapper from Flavian Rome:

http://www.google.com/search?q=Titus+Vespasian+and+the+urinal+tax