haha!! we get several deaths a year in our local river, always someone with a Spanish surname. If you could not swim at “home” you’re not going to be able to swim here, either.
Drunk ass idiots.
Last year we had to pull a drunk rafter out of the water. He missed the get-out point, got out of his raft and was hanging on the side too drunk to kick his way to shore. I saw him let go and slip under the water so I jumped on my wave runner and motored out to him.
He was so drunk he couldn’t move his body and I couldn’t get him up on the back platform. I was holding him off the side trying to move to shore when he just let go and I lost grip. It was surreal as I watched his open eyes looking up at me as he slipped into the darkness of the river.
Just as that happened it was like a bolt of lightning hit him and he kicked his way to the surface where I was finally able to get him on the platform. This is a fairly swift but calm river so we were four or five hundred yards downstream by this point. I got him back to shore where he promptly passed out face down in about a foot of water and made no effort to get himself up.
His girlfriend came and got him and for some reason he took a swing at another man who was trying to help. Ended up being arrested by the Sheriff and it turns out the drunk man was a police officer for a local department. Heard his girlfriend dumped him, too.
Drunk and water don’t mix.