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more to come;)
1 posted on 06/25/2018 3:38:18 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle
Subject: God's Plan for Aging

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.

2 posted on 06/25/2018 3:43:33 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

In a book called The Jewish Mind by Raphael Patai, he goes into the question of why Jews tend to be very smart. One of the reasons he gives is that in Jewish culture, a scholar was always considered a good match for the daughter of a rich merchant.


7 posted on 06/25/2018 4:53:16 AM PDT by wideminded
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To: sodpoodle

Nice ones. I will pass them off as my own. LOL! Not really...but they will be retold.


8 posted on 06/25/2018 3:45:21 PM PDT by Sergio (An object at rest cannot be stopped! - The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight)
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