A Baptist parishioner won big, and had to confess to his pastor. “Brother Smith, I confess I won big on the lottery. I know I shouldn’t gamble, but I did.”
He continued, “Now I’m vexed. Should I tithe on these winnings, or since they’re the wages of sin, should I not?”
Brother Smith: “Let me take that tithe, son. The devil’s had it long enough.”
Fred called a church and he said, "I'd like to speak to the Head Hog at the Trough."
The secretary indignantly said, "How rude! I'll have you know we would NEVER EVER refer to our pastor in such a manner! There is no hog at this church!"
Fred then stated, "Okay, just take a message then. Tell the head hog at the trough I've come into a bit of money. I just won the lottery and I was calling to give your church a $10,000 gift.
The secretary very quickly said, "Hold the phone, dearie! The big pig just walked in!"