The £12,000 dating agency that broke my heart: It only had 100 men, didn’t find her a [tr]

For a hugely bright private wealth consultant who has racked up goodness knows how many millions of pounds for her well-heeled clients over the years, Tereza Burki knows she’s been pretty daft. ‘When you’re advising a client to invest in something, you exercise due diligence, go to Companies House, make checks, do your research — but in matters of the heart...’ She shakes her head. ‘You want to believe you can have the Cinderella story, the happy ever after, and meet Mr Perfect who ticks all the boxes: financially secure, handsome, sense of humour, intelligent, adventurous and wants children. ‘And someone promises you can have that eternal happiness if you just pay whatever and sign here — you don’t read the small print or exercise the due diligence you would for a client, as you want to believe. I had a gut feeling telling me: “Don’t do it.” Why didn’t I listen?’

> Her problem is she is not interested in any man who might be interested in her.

That’s the bottom line. Her list is completely unrealistic for what she’s got to offer in return.

“financially secure, handsome, sense of humour, intelligent, adventurous and wants children”

A financially secure man doesn’t need the main thing she has to offer.

A financially secure, handsome man is selecting among fashion models, not last century’s models.

A financially secure, handsome man with a sense of humor would have a big belly laugh at this woman thinking she could attract his interest.

A financially secure, handsome, with a sense of humor, intelligent man knows it is not in his interests to assume ownership of a single-woman-with-kids situation which is in almost all cases completely dysfunctional.

A financially secure, handsome, with sense of humour, intelligent, adventurous man is going for more exotic specimens than this Plain Jane.

A financially secure, handsome, with sense of humour, intelligent, adventurous man who wants children isn’t going to seek to have them with a woman who may enter menopause at any moment.

This woman is flat-out delusional. She will either settle for a good man with flaws, end up with a bad man who will make her life worse, or be alone. Those are her real world options and no amount of money is going to buy more.

A lot depends on her definitions.

If, by financially secure, she means he has a stable job and will not expect her to support him, then she may find somebody.

Really, I think the best she should expect is a guy over fifty with a job, able to pay his half of the bills, and not so obese as to have health issues.

I think the word “adventurous” is a giveaway that her expectations are unrealistic. She is describing a movie star, not a realistic potential mate. And looking for someone new to have children with at 42 is red flag that she’s well above the crazy line.

‘But how do you meet a man who shares your interests and accepts that you are an independent, strong woman when you’re in your 40s?’ she said.

Men don’t want their women to be independent of them. They want a woman who is on the same team, a partner in a whole greater than its parts.

As far as “strong”... that can mean a lot of things, many of them on the south side of unpleasant. Strength comes in many forms and it kind of sounds, with that self-description, like her form is radical feminist AKA hostile to men - so again, another reason for no man to want to get near her.

Two “failed” marriages and no tale of how the man was a horrible person = she was the cause. More red flags.

A woman still in her 40s relying on sex appeal alone is in BIG BIG trouble. She certainly isn’t going to get the dashing handsome hero from her favorite movie, as appears to be the demand.

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