“Expensive masturbation with an inanimate object
Control yourself, or do it the old fashioned way”
For that money, you can take yourself to an expensive dinner, go home and watch a porn flick while pleasuring yourself. You can call your hand, Jennifer, Candy, Crystal or Nicky.
"Well, I just think if you're gonna masturbate, man...treat yourself right. Don't just drag yourself in there again and use yourself.
Bring home flowers. How about a movie and a quiet dinner for one? And be coy with yourself, man.
"I don't wanna!"
"Aw c'mon honey...for me?"
"S'all you ever think about!"
One thing I never did was accept money from myself, man. I never bought any, boy! One time I caught myself with another hand. Never let your left hand know. Big trouble."
- - George Carlin