I work in DevOps and a bit of tech support. Design databases, implement mail servers, etc.
If any friends or family ask me to work on their computer, I mess it up intentionally (nothing destructive) so that they’ll never ask me again. That policy has saved me lots of heartache over the years.
May have saved you heartache, but probably cost a few friends, or at least a good deal of their respect.
Why not just say that a technicians time and advice are his stock in trade. You do not wish to spend half of your working hours for free.
Sounds like you are a coward as well as a passive-aggressive jerk. Man up and just say "no". You sound like the kind of guy who would use Gillette.
I used to trade labor with a relative that owned a cabinet shop.
One day, I’m upgrading his hardware, he asks, How do you know all that?
I said ‘easy, if not sure, select YES’.
He sells the business and moves across the state, opens a new cabinet shop.
Phone rings, somehow he deleted everything!!!
He did not know I was joking.
He had backups but, still had to rebuild a week by hand.
A good thing he had already completed the new kitchen for me!
Now he switched Apple, his wife says he sometimes spends hours yelling at it?
I think my solution to the problem of relatives wanting free tech support is better. I tell them I haven’t worked with MS-Windows for ten years, and wouldn’t have any idea what to do with it. This has the additional benefit of being mostly true.