I hope they invested all those rewind and late fees wisely.
****************
SUSAN: So, what have you got there?
GEORGE: Oh, I, uh—
SUSAN: Oh, ``Rochelle, Rochelle’’
GEORGE: It’s a foreign movie... a *film*, is what it is, actually.
SUSAN: Yeah... A lot of nudity in that, huh?
GEORGE: No, no, no... Just a *tiny* bit... It’s not even *frontal* nudity. It’s... *sidal* nudity...
CLERK: Next.
GEORGE: Oh, that’s me.
SUSAN: Alright, well... Good seeing you, George.
GEORGE: Yes, good to see you, too. And Good luck with, uh... with the whole thing, there.
CLERK: Uh, what are you returning?
GEORGE: [embarrassed pause] ``Rochelle, Rochelle’’.
CLERK: Ah, ``Rochelle, Rochelle’’... “A young girl’s strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk”...
CLERK: Uh, that’ll be, uh... $3.49.
GEORGE: $3.49? It says $1.49.
CLERK: Well, you didn’t rewind it. There’s a $2.00 charge for not rewinding.
GEORGE: What! There’s no signs here! This is an outrage!
KRAMER: George, don’t give him any money for that. It’ll cost you less to keep it another day, rewind it and bring it back tomorrow. Don’t give him the satisfaction.
GEORGE: I’m not giving you the satisfaction. I’m gonna watch it again...
**********
[Cut to the video store where George tells the clerk about the video. Susan shows up and George asks her]
GEORGE: Listen, I gotta ask you: I was a little concerned that perhaps I was responsible in some way for your, uh... metamorphosis.
CLERK: That’ll be $98.00.
GEORGE: What $98.00?
CLERK: That’s what I said. $98.00.
GEORGE: How could that piece of *crap* cost $98.00!?
(He borrows $35 from Susan to pay for the movie)
GEORGE: So, was it me?
SUSAN: Oh, don’t be ridiculous! Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? [Gives him the $35] Here.
GEORGE: Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. I’ll pay you back.
SUSAN: Yeah, *sure*... I gotta go.
GEORGE: Listen. Let me ask you something. If you and Mona were ever to... dance, how do you decide who leads? I mean... do you take turns? Do you discuss it beforehand? How does that work?
SUSAN: You’re an idiot.
GEORGE: Why? That’s a *legitimate* sociological question.
SUSAN: I’ll see ya. And George, by the way... You stink... Real bad.
GEORGE: It’s not me! It’s the car!
We need more comedy like that these days.