Posted on 03/09/2019 3:48:03 AM PST by sodpoodle
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why, Why, Why – do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do they put an expiration date on sour cream?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
And my FAVORITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, Guess what sunshine?!
the Indians that do rain dances, do they practice? And if it rains during practice, do they still have a rain dance? And if it doesn’t rain during practice, how do they know they are doing it right?
Weather you’re right or whether you’re wrong:)
“Why does a round pizza come in a square box?”
Now what would be weird would be if a square pizza came in a round box.
We have an Epicurian restaurant in our town. If Italian food comes from Italy, French food comes from France, etc etc where does Epicurian food come from? I have never heard of Epicuria and I can’t find it on a map.
Epicuria is that happy place that is the intersection of Italian and French cuisine.
No British allowed.
The reason there are laws against political assassinations is not to protect the politicians, but to prevent a shortage of ammunition.
Nice list. Thanks for posting.
Why not make airplanes out of the same stuff used to make the black boxes retrieved after a crash?
If People Evolved from Apes,
Why are there still Apes?
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A Great Thread starter!
why does “German chocolate” have coconuts when coconuts are not grown in Germany?
“why does “German chocolate” have coconuts when coconuts are not grown in Germany?”
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Neither is cacao!
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Ping,
If you can deposit a check into your bank by taking a picture of it, why can’t you do that with cash?
In the city, there’s an Ethiopian restaurant. It’s probably not PC, but I can’t help laughing when we drive past it. Yeah, laughing now.
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures and why is a bra singular and panties are plural?
Because it isn’t named for the country but the guy who invented it who’s last name was German.
I thiMk it is OK to laugh at others——as long as you can laugh at yourself.
Why do all assassins and other really bad guys referred to by all 3 names?
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