That almost made me shed a tear remembering some of the stuff we did, sometimes out of boredom, sometimes just for the hell of it.
I remember once working on the big planes with bathrooms. Once I had to crap real bad, so I ran into a plane to drop a duce. Well it was really dark, and I didn’t hear anything for a second. Well, as it turn out the toilet was gone, and I was crapping on the lower hull of the plane.
A-6 techs across the hanger got bored one day. My buddy from A School called me over and we I watched a newbie in the cockpit blowing on something. The Tech on the deck yelled “still can’t hear you, blow again.” My buddy is dying, I asked what the F was going on. He said it was the “pilots relief tube.” I lost it. A-4s didn’t have one of those some pilots carried an old canteen for long flights.
I was a QAR and was leaving the flight line one night and I see two hydraulic mechs under a bird. One mech says to the other something to the effect “if it didn’t feel like hydraulic fluid what does it taste like”, “not hydraulic fluid” was the answer. Must be fuel “f’ it” lets move to the next bird. I about died, I saw a plane captain taking a piss by that A-4 nose gear. After I got back to my office and stopped laughing I put out a memo about not pissing on the flight line.