Again, if they are beyond the capability for her to care for, you get them to people who can. she’s 56 years old and this is what you do. you get them into a place that have people trained to deal with difficult disease cases.
Good grief we have women and men older than this that place their own spouses in nursing homes for far less, its not like they haven’t thought of this in other cases where care is beyond what they can do. Its not rocket science if you can’t handle it you get them somewhere that can.
Some states do have institutions or care homes, but sometimes there’s a long waiting list. All states are not alike in what they offer. In an article I read, for instance, Washington State is rated #48, while New York is rated 5th out of 50 states for quality of care. Only EIGHT states have 5 day per week autism specialized schools. Some have ZERO respite programs. Some have NO early childhood programs, which are the most important programs. States now get Medicaid funds, and THEY decide where to spend them.