Posted on 02/26/2020 6:02:27 AM PST by C19fan
Ever since her last relationship ended this past August, Liz has been consciously trying not to treat dating as a “numbers game.” By the 30-year-old Alaskan’s own admission, however, it hasn’t been going great.
Liz has been going on Tinder dates frequently, sometimes multiple times a week—one of her New Year’s resolutions was to go on every date she was invited on. But Liz, who asked to be identified only by her first name in order to avoid harassment, can’t escape a feeling of impersonal, businesslike detachment from the whole pursuit.
“It’s like, ‘If this doesn’t go well, there are 20 other guys who look like you in my inbox.’ And I’m sure they feel the same way—that there are 20 other girls who are willing to hang out, or whatever,” she said. “People are seen as commodities, as opposed to individuals.”
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
By the 30-year-old Alaskan’s own admission...”
Well...just “doing the numbers”....this gal is starting in, shall we say, a pretty disadvantaged position....
“People are seen as commodities, as opposed to individuals.”
2a: something useful or valued
b: convenience, advantage
3 : a good or service whose wide availability typically leads to smaller profit margins and diminishes the importance of factors (such as brand name) other than price
4 : one that is subject to ready exchange or exploitation within a market
5 obsolete : quantity, lot
I have no idea how today’s dating “market” is ... my wife won’t allow me to date. ;-)
Rollo Tomassi’s book “the Rational Male” would explain a whole lot to these authors of this Atlantic article.
Two concepts these authors do not seem to understand are: 1) sexual market value, and 2) hypergamy. While these concepts don’t reveal all about modern dating, they go a lot further than this shallow article did.
They tossed true love out the window in the late 60’s. Its only a sex game now. If you can find a Mrs Cleaver these days count yourself as being very lucky! My dad once told me, “true love comes once in a life time, if you are lucky you will marry her and be happy, if not she will be on your mind forever.” I’m on #3, and damn if he wasn’t right. But #3 has been with me for 40+ yrs. and she’s Mrs. Cleaver. She’s a keeper!
I agree. Treating other people as commodities to be manipulated to meet one’s consumption goals is unworthy of human beings.
Why is she having a problem? The men to women ratio in Alaska is heavily tilted toward women. If she doesn’t look like a yeti she should be flooded with dates.
All you need is more exposure. Dress up, act gentlemanly and don’t look desperate. As a young confirmed bachelor I dated women who were minimum 5 years older because those that were 20 years older wouldn’t go for the bait. After awhile one gets tired of playing the game but putting on the sport coat and khakis again is always possible. Women are better at it. All they have to do is ‘glo’.
‘If this doesn’t go well, there are 20 other guys who look like you in my inbox
Well that is her problem, she keeps going for the same type of guy and expect that this one is going to be different.
She crawls over to his place for “netflix and chill”, he gets what he wanted and moves on to the next tinder twat.
Plus she doesn’t realize she is 30, she hit her wall, guys are lucky, they can date into their 50’s if they keep their looks up and have good jobs/careers going for them.
Its different for women, but they have been programmed to believe they are the same as guys by radical feminists and don’t realize their looks fade, their eggs shrivel up and any pregnancy beyond 30 is considered “high risk”. Men looking for wives are looking for younger, and the tinder bangers are getting any lady they want for the night because of their looks.
This woman is just pissed that she missed the husband boat by a few years and realizes she is going to have to get a cat soon if she doesn’t have one or two already.
Has she tried looking around at a church? Or are the types of values she’s likely to find in a church deplorable to her?
Ed
People don’t want romance. They want sex. They want money. They want someone to take responsibility for their mistakes.
If you actually romanced a 40 year old divorcee, they wouldn’t know what to do about it.
Tinder is nothing but a whore house without the madam
Liz you are not going to find a long term relation via Tinder
In my experience, dating 30+ year-old women has advantages and disadvantages; if you're aware of them and are OK with them, good for you. If you're not aware of them, well, you're in for a surprise.
30+ year-olds know their clock is ticking. They start to realize that if they ever want start a family, they'd better start NOW.
But 30+ year-old women have been around the block a few times; they have a long list of experiences and traits against which you will be compared. They'll be scrutinizing you as marriage material from the get-go. You'll be analyzed like a lab experiment, and you'll be dropped at the slightest perceived flaw. They know what they like and what they don't like. They'll be quite experienced sexually, which may be good and bad. Dating a 30+ year-old woman is about the goal of marriage and family, so if you don't want that, let her know early and be done with it. Move on.
p.s. Dating women who are 45+ years-old is a very different experience, especially if they've been previously married or have kids of their own. They're looking to upgrade their financial situation, or looking for companionship.
:: The problem is that now there exists a large degree of narcissism and expectations way out of line with reality.::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bingo! On top of that, having sexual relations is now seen as a part of a date. That is a fairly new and destructive concept.
Singles bars + the Internet = Dating sites. These cyberspace singles bars seem to produce the same results too.
I am in my 70s and I am retired. I have discovered YouTube and the magic of being able to explore many strange (and sometimes wonderful things)
I recently discovered some channels that deal with woman like Liz and her problems. Girls have a window of opportunity to find and marry a good man. That window is between 18 and 28.
The choose is between marriage and a family or a career. To many young girls have chosen career (and multiple partners).
By the time they get to 30 they realize they want a good husband and a family but none are available. You hear “all the good men are taken”.
The second thing they learn is if there is a man in their age group, good job, fairly good looking, a good prospect for marriage, he is not interested in her. He is interested in the young 22 year old version of her. Even men much older then her will be looking for someone in their low 20s and will find plenty of young things to date.
So Liz, you bought the feminist lie that you could have it all and is just one more woman being tossed aside with little hope of happiness.
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