Drama Queens and Driving Adventures and Pain Mangement, Oh, My!
I have tenants.
MOSTLY GREAT ones.
No, really, the couple renting our First Home are like dream tenants; VERY low maintenance.
So, I suppose I REALLY ought to have employed the singular: “tenant.”
The jumpy, mousey woman with the yippy dog renting our in-law alerted us to a terrible incursion of ants.
Basis past Autumnal ant wars we envisioned the typical legions of stoic, and determined insects engaged in an epic campaign against Something In The Kitchen, and rang up the pest control company.
She saw more ants the next day.
So we rang up a different company to talk about — did I mention her feeling that just about everything stronger than lilac water is a deadly toxin?
It became inescapable that there must be an INDOOR treatment of some kind, but no substance in the arsenal of the pest control company would suit her.
HOWEVER, in the course of the discussion, it became apparent that the Antpocalypse consisted NOT of ten thousand times ten thousand ravaging hordes, but [drum roll] a dozen assorted scouts.
Scouts. One a-penny, two a-penny...
SCOUTS! She’s beating the war drum like it’s the siege of Jericho, and it’s nothing but a dozen spies from someplace across the Jordan!
Can I fly out east and have some Driving Adventure? That actually sounds exciting, in just the sort of viscerally satisfying way that dealing with The Tenant isn’t.
Crikey.
What’s wrong with a little boric acid? Or diatomaceous earth? The latter will take care of all the creepy crawlies, and since its “food grade,” it won’t hurt you or any pets. Unless the pets have six to eight legs... Available online and at larger home improvement stores.
You know what Driving Adventures are like here. Just, not in the BB SUV, the one that doesn’t like steep or long grades. ;o]
You’d be welcome any time for some white-knuckle time with the Skinny, Weird One. I’m even offering an hourly fee!