Several days ago as I left a meeting I desperately gave myself a personal search.
I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets.
A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realised I must have left them in the car.
Frantically, I headed for the car park. My husband has scolded me many times
for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place
not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. As I scanned the car
park I came to a terrifying conclusion! His theory was right. The car park was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left
my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call
of all, to my husband’s mobile. “Hello My Love,” I stammered; I always call him
“My Love” in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”
There was a long period of silence. I thought the call had disconnected, but then
I heard his voice. He barked, “I dropped you off!” Now it was my time to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said, “Well, please come and get me.” He retorted, “I will, as soon
as I can convince this policeman I have not stolen your car.”
The Husband Store
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at
the entrance:- ‘You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the
value of the products increase as you ascend the flights.
You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up
to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign reads::
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework
and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.