My father was autistic. Engineer, member of Mensa, socially awkward, uncomfortable with physical affection, but an incredible man nonetheless.
All of my siblings and I show various traits of autism. We hyper-focus, are not fond of large crowds, prefer logic over emotion, and are not lovey-dovey. It has not stopped any of us from being successful. Among my siblings and I, we have an engineer, a CPA, two Vice Presidents, and a business owner with a growing singing career on the side.
Two of my 3 children, my sister’s two children, and two of my brother’s children are autistic. One is a doctor, another engineer, and four that are still young and in school.
There are varying degrees of autism. High functioning autistics like myself easily pass as normal. Autistic people tend to see things in black and white, will implement efficiencies, require very little supervision, and recognize threats to a company long before others see it.
Just don’t expect us to remember your birthday. Honestly, we don’t care about that kind of stuff.
Your post sounds just like me in may ways—but weirdly I am an excellent public speaker—I guess that makes me a charismatic autistic.
;-)
Shouldn't a person prone to being "hyper-focussed" actually thrive on charting all of his friends' and relatives' birthdays, personal gift preferences, etc.? I should think that people of that ilk who also possess a certain degree of technical savvy might even devise some sort of "software application" that issues "30-day reminders of upcoming birthdays," lists what gift you gave last time, whether you received a thank-you note, and such.
Being "hyper-focussed" (or however you choose to call it) shouldn't preclude being an absolute gentleman (or lady) - always courteous and considerate, always adhering to prevailing codes and norms pertaining to social interactions and customs.
In my case, I've elaborated a giant Excel table, listing all the relevant information. And so when a sibling doesn't send a thank-you note for the third year in a row, I'm able to dash off a letter of rebuke to him that gently but neatly enumerates his failures.
In my "heart of hearts," I don't "care" about the tax code, either - but that certainly doesn't mean that I am unable to assiduously adhere to it - if only in a mechanical fashion.
Regards,