[Buttons12]

Law of the Rings. It deals with the probability of a ring of phone or doorbell.

It’s all depending on two factors, E (the extension or distance you are from the ring source, which gets squared if you took the stairs), and A (your age, which is also squared if you took the stairs or are committed to any activity in the bathroom).

Law of Stairs is about the proximity to the last step up or down, where you are most likely to have forgotten your mission and most likely to remember what you forgot to bring with you on the journey.

Law of Orphan Footwear. This applies to shoes as well as socks, I have three shoes with missing mates and I’m not even 30 years old, so this is not an age-related thing. Yes I have looked everywhere, except in the Last Place, for which there is a well-known Law.

[higgmeister]

In my forty year career in telecommunications, I have learned that telephones are not magic and they are not a god.   They can be ignored without breaking the fabric of space or time.   Emails need not be answered or even looked at.   Phone calls need not be answered or returned.   Texts are sent for a hilarious pick-me-up when you hear the phone ding.   Just laugh now and at your leisure erase the backlogged texts once a month.

In troubleshooting major outages on conference bridges with Vice Presidents, Directors and General Managers listening in for hours on end or simply talking on the phone with a Special Services technician, the Central Office craftsman and an Outside Plant dispatch repairman for an eternity, it is easy to see that telephones are not any part of God.   It's all digital nowadays anyway.   Cellphones are a gift from the Devil to destroy polite civil discourse.