7. The company will no longer hire male writers based on hotness
8. Must offer actual benefits instead of just the promise of an annual high-five
9. Kyle agrees to stop walking by our desks saying “Working hard or hardly working?”
11. Weekend visits with family
12. One can of Yuban coffee
18. Increase the party planning committee budget to $50
19. Y2K-compliant computers
20. A window
21. Replace us with AI. Please. And as soon as pos
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ping
Cute.