As you probably know, I loved my Dad to the Moon and back. Still do, though he’s gone.
I did not know until I was an adult that he was raised in a VERY abusive household, though my Grandpa, his father, never raised his voice to me or was anything but loving, kind and instructive to me and my sister. Maybe he’d yell if we weren’t moving fast enough for him, but he never struck us or was cruel in any way I can remember.
That said, my Dad was VERY sarcastic, which I think is how he handled things for himself. He was also funny as heck. We laughed a lot in our household, and no one was the butt of any of his jokes; he was never cruel.
And guess what? I handle stressful situations with sarcasm and/or humor!
Gee, YA THINK? ;)
Our family has multi-generational problems too.
It’s funny that the behaviors we detested in our parents when we were children, are the exact behaviors we often exhibit later in life toward our own children, yet fail to see it in ourselves, often excusing it away.
Me: “Dad, I’m bored.”
Dad: “Go play in traffic.”
Sounds like your Dad and Mom were overcomers. To their credit!
Because a clinician reports on what they see in some children does not mean all children will turn out that way. We are each individuals. Glad that sarcasm was the worst you got.
Like one of the other posters, I witnessed some abusive talk among extended family members, and saw how it hurt the children. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.