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Moulin Rouge Sucks
WeeklyStandard.com ^ | 3/21/02 | David Skinner

Posted on 03/21/2002 11:08:05 AM PST by GeneD

HERE'S MY considered opinion of "Moulin Rouge": It sucks. There's no need to get defensive. It's no big deal. A lot of movies suck. But then again, a lot of movies don't snag eight Oscar nominations. Okay, okay, calm down. The truth hurts, I know. In fact, the movie's suckiness was, in fact, a bit of a disappointment to me, too. I rather like several of the actors involved, and I adored director Baz Luhrmann's "Romeo + Juliet" a few years back.

Sadly, I was one of a very small number of people who seemed to realize how bad "Moulin Rouge" was. After the Oscar nominations came out, there were those other awards, you know, the ones that are supposed to predict the Oscar winners, and everywhere I looked this crapalicious pseudo-musical was being feted.

It made me wonder if my hostility to the picture was rooted in ignorance. See, I haven't watched all that many musicals, so I decided to rent a few. My choices were "West Side Story," "Cabaret," and "My Fair Lady." These weren't picked from a hat, of course. They are the three most Oscar-winning musical movies ever. And here's what I learned. It's not musicals that suck, it's only "Moulin Rouge."

An important thing to know about musicals (I just learned this myself) is that they have music original to themselves.* And, in fact, the quality of their music is a primary criterion for judging their overall quality. In fact, a musical without its very own music would be something like a drama without any drama.

Yes, yes, I realize I don't know that much about musicals. One of my most shameful memories ever is falling in love with Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Cats" when I was in fourth grade. (No, really, it was kind of cool when those slinky feline creatures crawled into the audience rows.) So I can't actually make any claims about having the most exquisite taste in the world, but this thing about musicals having original musical was, until the Oscar nominations, kind of a hard and fast rule. Furthermore, stringing together numerous, unrelated pop songs to merely tickle the memory chords of an audience was something only insufferable piano-lounge hacks were supposed to do.

Now back to these other musicals. Not only was their music original, but their songs constituted a permanent contribution to the culture. "Wilkommen," the opening song from "Cabaret," "Tonight" and "America" from "West Side Story," or "Get Me To The Church On Time" and "On The Street Where You Live" from "My Fair Lady" represented net additions to preexisting music. Now, as far as I can tell, "Moulin Rouge" is merely borrowing music that was already around. Which means that, musically, "Moulin Rouge" offers nothing.

The storylines of the three classics I saw were also much, much stronger. Even after watering down George Bernard Shaw's "Pygmalion," "My Fair Lady" was bursting with character and ideas. Rex Harrison as the mischievous, self-pleasing misogynist versus the romantic-souled "guttersnipe," played beautifully by Audrey Hepburn (though of course sung by someone else), helped provide a thoughtful and even wise comedy about men and women.

More than any individual performer, New York City provided a wonderful geometric vision to a running, splaying choreography that made me laugh only about three or four times in "West Side Story." The warring of sides and the two romantic hearts in between--borrowed of course from Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet"--made for an excellent story of gangs and young love. Not a great character movie, but a splendid picture show with several classic songs.

"Cabaret" I feared the most, having never seen any version of it. But the movie was hilarious, erotic, and unnerving--a double picture of sensual amoralism oblivious to the raised fist of Nazi evil. As for the performances: I now understand why Joel Grey is forever associated with the role of the emcee; and you'd have to be gay to have enjoyed Liza Minnelli's Sally Bowles more than I did.

"Moulin Rouge," which had been hyped by its director and others as an homage to the heyday of music on the silver screen, is really an embarrassment to the great Hollywood musical. Its story (one area where it might have compensated for its lack of original music) is a 19th century dime-store melodrama that uses the phoniest dramatic devices imaginable to keep it moving. (Somehow, audiences love to be reminded of songs written five years ago, but are totally amnesiac when it comes to age-old melodramatic cliches about starving artists and dying beauties.) Only in its spectacular picture-book cinematography can "Moulin Rouge" lay claim to singularity. And if the movie's visual teams win awards, justice will have been done. Any other Academy Awards "Moulin Rouge" receives will be no more than spectacular proof that the competition was consumptively thin this year.

David Skinner is an assistant managing editor at The Weekly Standard.

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*Correction to my hard and fast rule: In my ignorance of the great tradition of Hollywood musicals, I overstated the originality of their music. Although the three Oscar-winning musical movies I discussed used original music, many others did in fact recycle already published and recorded songs, but not in the winking, post-modern manner of "Moulin Rouge." By distinction, the music in such classics as "Singing in the Rain," "A White Christmas," and "An American in Paris" was not intended to be merely allusive--to tickle your nostalgia for the present. Furthermore, it is my understanding that these movies tried to accommodate their unoriginal music in a narrative and not simply trot them out for thirty seconds at a time in the fashion of a cancan revue. Thanks to Joseph William Naccarato at the University of Delaware.

-DS


TOPICS: Music/Entertainment
KEYWORDS: moulinrouge; moviemusicals; newscorporation
I'm posting this because this reminds me too much of those regular and suspicious mea-culpa pans CNN runs for Warner Bros. movies. (CNN and Warner Bros. are owned by...never mind. "Moulin Rouge" is distributed by Twentieth Century-Fox, which is owned by News Corporation, which prints...never mind.)

Bad enough to be running an errand for your boss--I can understand the sense of shame you might have in your company's product, even if as corporate politicking it's a little on the obvious side--but worse you get the names of two famous movies wrong: it's "Singin' in the Rain" and "White Christmas" (no definite article).

Guys, stick to campaign finance reform.

1 posted on 03/21/2002 11:08:05 AM PST by GeneD
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To: GeneD
I don't know if it sucked or not. After 10 minutes I ripped the tape out of my VCR. That was about all I could stand. For all I know, the rest of it may have been fabulous.
2 posted on 03/21/2002 11:13:23 AM PST by .38sw
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To: .38sw
AMEN. It took me about 10 mins myself to get annoyed by the ranting and music. I had to remove the thing out of my vcr AND demand a refund from the video store. Did not enjoy what I saw of it myself.
3 posted on 03/21/2002 11:19:31 AM PST by eXe
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To: eXe
Amen it sucked....and I like Nicole and Ian usually.
4 posted on 03/21/2002 11:29:11 AM PST by wardaddy
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To: GeneD
I wish you had named this thread "Movies That Suck".
There have been a few movies I started and just couldn't finish.

The Thin Red Line was weird
What Dreams May Come wa weird
Gone Fishin' sucked but I payed for it so I stayed.
The Brady Bunch Movie sucked but I payed for it too.

5 posted on 03/21/2002 11:42:01 AM PST by sparkomatic
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To: eXe, .38sw
I was annoyed by the previews for the movie, never even considered renting it.
6 posted on 03/21/2002 11:46:14 AM PST by plinker's2sense
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To: plinker's2sense
I hadn't seen any previews. If i had, I would have saved myself four bucks and an extra return trip to Blockbuster. I didn't ask for a refund, figured it would be a waste of breath.
7 posted on 03/21/2002 11:56:54 AM PST by .38sw
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To: .38sw
Well... I lasted a little longer than you. About 20 minutes into Pay Per View, I was ready to turn it off. But, because I paid (and I wasn't tired) I kept watching. Then, something happened. This awful film turned into a pretty good movie. It took 35 minutes... then all the goofiness stopped. Moulin Rouge is really two movies. 35 minutes of the worst thing I've ever seen... followed by 90 minutes of pretty good story telling. Go figure!
8 posted on 03/21/2002 12:31:32 PM PST by carton253
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To: carton253
An important thing to know about musicals (I just learned this myself) is that they have music original to themselves.

Then I guess that "Mama Mia" isn't a musical. It uses all ABBA music. (That was a really fantastic Broadway experience, by the way.)

I saw Moulin Rouge and didn't know what to think about it at first. My husband wanted to see it. I didn't think I would like it, but I began to enjoy it. It was very unusual, to say the least. Nicole sang her songs. I think there was a lot of inside humor.

9 posted on 03/21/2002 1:13:30 PM PST by AUsome Joy
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To: GeneD
Forget Moulin Rouge. You seen Memento yet? I've seen it two or three times, and I would be pretty sure that it was a damn good movie if I could just remember what it was about. I have this condition, you see....
10 posted on 03/21/2002 1:29:05 PM PST by snowfox
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To: plinker's2sense
I rather enjoyed the SNL parody of ML myself...
11 posted on 03/21/2002 4:25:28 PM PST by RangeRatt
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To: GeneD
I agree Moulin Rouge was way weird and annoying. I didn't watch the whole thing - left the room while it played. Then returned the DVD.
12 posted on 03/21/2002 4:41:03 PM PST by ValerieUSA
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To: GeneD
Only in its spectacular picture-book cinematography can "Moulin Rouge" lay claim to singularity.

I'd agree...for what I saw of it. I made it to the part where Nichole's character is trying to seduce the writer because she thinks he's the rich guy. I couldn't hear the movie anymore because the sound of brain cells leaping to their deaths was too overwhelming. I have found that a number of women liked the movie, but haven't found a guy who made it as far as I did. I only made it as far as I did, because it was supposed to be a stay-at-home-with-the-spouse time. I lost all interest and left.

13 posted on 03/21/2002 4:43:12 PM PST by lepton
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To: carton253
Well I hope it really does suck... it helps our movie do better!
14 posted on 03/21/2002 4:48:55 PM PST by HairOfTheDog
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To: snowfox
Still looking for John G? I hear his nickname is JimRob. Trust me on this. Write it on your arm right now before you forget. Don't trust his lies.
15 posted on 03/21/2002 5:21:03 PM PST by Bogey78O
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To: snowfox
I wish I could remember why I was bumping your post, but I have tattoed on my arm that I should, so it must be important.
16 posted on 03/21/2002 5:28:45 PM PST by JenB
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To: snowfox
Ok for the uninitiated and before anyone asks,

Memento is a movie about a man who was involved in an accident that made him unable to make new memories. The last thing he remembers is getting smacked on the head and seeing his wife die. So his entire life is dedicated to finding the man who killed his wife.

However since he can't remember anything he has tattoos all over his body that tell him what he's supposed to remember.

The movie is shot in reverse order so each scene is entirely new to the viewer and explains the scene you just saw. So you're basically experiencing everything as the main character is.

Also his memory malfunction causes other people to use him for their own purpose.

A good movie. Better than it got really.

17 posted on 03/21/2002 5:36:30 PM PST by Bogey78O
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To: Bogey78O
I thought it was a great movie. I never even saw that ending coming. Wow.
18 posted on 03/22/2002 7:44:58 AM PST by snowfox
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To: snowfox
How could you? You knew nothing like the main character till it told you.
19 posted on 03/22/2002 4:00:56 PM PST by Bogey78O
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To: GeneD
Agree, the movie was way bad. I lasted to the end and felt like a fool.

To prove my idiocy, I also saw the present show, "Feerie" at the real place in Paris last week and that too is a stinker.

20 posted on 03/22/2002 6:26:26 PM PST by RicocheT
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