Spears' latest tour, which kicked off March 2 in San Diego and hits Seattle tonight, is more of a circus than anything else. It's multiple sets and costume changes, and techno-grinding dance numbers and, in all likelihood, mostly lip-synched.... "Which is totally understandable if she's dancing like crazy," said another Britney, Brittany McGrath, a senior from Aloha High School in Beaverton.
These fans spend all this money to go to a concert of somebody lip-synching? And it's "totally understandable" because Britney's gotta dance? Geez, it's too bad one half of Milli Vanilli is dead -- they could make a comeback. After all, they always could dance well!
1. Who asked you to dance, especially if it means you can't sing during your own concert? I'm a writer, so that's like me telling a client, "I'd love to write a script for you, but I'm too busy juggling to type. I know you didn't ask me to juggle, and that it's entirely incidental to the main point of our transaction, but it's just something I do, and I'm letting it take precedence over the actual job."
2. Britney is a lousy "dancer." Her dancing is to real dancing as her "singing" is to real singing. There's no flow, no grace; it's just a mixture of cliched pole dancer moves and bad cheerleader choreography. You can even see where one "hunk" ends and the next begins because she clomps back to her base spot, plants herself on the piece of tape at center stage, counts "1-2-3-4" (which I suspect is as high as she can count), then launches into her next clunky hunk.
Sorry, I won't cut these squirts any slack just because they're young. When I was young, everyone in my school liked disco, while I was into Bowie and the Kinks. 30 years later, Bowie and the Kinks still sound great. Can you imagine what the current pap will sound like three decades hence? Even the Archies sound better than Britney. At least those cartoon characters' lips matched up fairly well with the words when they sang.