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The Boston Fog Machine (Don't Miss This One)
New York Times ^ | 3/14/04 | David Brooks

Posted on 03/14/2004 6:30:01 AM PST by William McKinley

The 1990's were a confusing decade. The certainties of the cold war were gone and new threats appeared. It fell to one man, John Kerry, the Human Nebula, to bring fog out of the darkness, opacity out of the confusion, bewilderment out of the void.

Kerry established himself early as the senator most likely to pierce through the superficial clarity and embrace the miasma. The gulf war had just ended. It was time to look back for lessons learned. "There are those trying to say somehow that Democrats should be admitting they were wrong" in opposing the gulf war resolution, Kerry noted in one Senate floor speech. But he added, "There is not a right or wrong here. There was a correctness in the president's judgment about timing. But that does not mean there was an incorrectness in the judgment other people made about timing."

For you see, Kerry continued, "Again and again and again in the debate, it was made clear that the vote of the U.S. Senate and the House on the authorization of immediate use of force on Jan. 12 was not a vote as to whether or not force should be used."

In laying out the Kerry Doctrine — that in voting on a use-of-force resolution that is not a use-of-force resolution, the opposite of the correct answer is also the correct answer — Kerry was venturing off into the realm of Post-Cartesian Multivariate Co-Directionality that would mark so many of his major foreign policy statements.

The next crisis occurred in Somalia. Again, the U.S. Senate faced what appeared to lesser minds as a clear choice: to withdraw in the wake of U.S. casualties or not to withdraw. The oxymoronically gifted junior senator from Massachusetts perceived an equivocation between the modalities: "The choice for the United States of America is not between two alternatives only: staying in or getting out. There are many other choices in-between which better reflect the aspirations and hopes of our country."

Kerry backed a policy of interventionist withdrawal, which jibed with the "third way" option embraced by President Bill Clinton himself. As Kerry noted, "I think that the president today made the right decision to try to establish a process which will maintain the capacity of our forces, protect them, and to disengage while simultaneously upholding the mission we have set out to accomplish."

The Balkan crisis emerged, and again the Congress seemed to face a tough decision, whether to authorize the use of American force. But then the Boston Fog Machine rolled in: "It is important to remember that this resolution does not authorize the use of American ground troops in Bosnia, nor does it specifically authorize the use of air or naval power. It simply associates the U.S. Senate with the current policies of this administration and of the Security Council." The vote, Kerry concluded, was over whether to associate with a process that would determine certain necessary conditions involving uncertain modalities, which must be explored, in order to reach certain desirable ends.

The Iraq problem returned in 1998, and Kerry proved again that there is no world crisis so grave it can't be addressed with a fusillade of subordinate clauses. Teams of highly trained spelunkers have descended into the darkness of the floor speech he gave on Oct. 10, 1998, searching for meaning, though none have returned alive.

In a characteristic sentence, which admittedly sounds better in the original French, Kerry exclaimed: "We know from our largely unsuccessful attempts to enlist the cooperation of other nations, especially industrialized trading nations, in efforts to impose and enforce somewhat more ambitious standards on nations such as Iran, China, Burma and Syria, that the willingness of most other nations — including a number who are joined in the sanctions to isolate Iraq — is neither wide nor deep to join in imposing sanctions on a sovereign nation to spur it to `clean up its act' and comport its actions with accepted international norms."

Can anyone say Churchillian?

Kerry has made clear that if he is elected president, the nation will never face a caveat shortage. He has established the foragainst method, which has enabled him to be foragainst the war in Iraq, foragainst the Patriot Act and foragainst No Child Left Behind. If you decide to vote for him this year, there would be a correctness in that judgment, but if you decide to vote for George Bush, that would also be correct.


TOPICS: Editorial; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: davidbrooks; jfk; kerry; kerrydoctrine; nyt
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
Great line. I coughed up my coffee.

L

21 posted on 03/14/2004 7:50:45 AM PST by Lurker (Don't bite the hand that meads you.)
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To: William McKinley
Once you cut through the political double speak, the snake oil sun tan lotion of an oily politician, his meaning is perfectly clear.

Just because liberal's, such as himself, are forced by circumstances, and fear of voter backlash, to vote for the approval of military action, is in no way to be construed by the president or others that live in the alternate universe of political intrigue, in the land of smoke and mirrors, as a sincere vote.

Therefore, this psudo permission to use the military, should not be taken advantage of by the President, by actually using the military to engage an enemy.

Their vote is to appease the unwashed masses, and to not appear anti-American or weak on national defense. When liberal politicians find themselves boxed in by events such as 9-11, or public opinion, it's is highly unethical for the President to take advantage of their plight and actually defend America.
22 posted on 03/14/2004 8:01:34 AM PST by MissAmericanPie
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To: William McKinley
Kerry is stupid.
23 posted on 03/14/2004 8:15:51 AM PST by punster (q)
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To: punster
Kerry is stupid.

True! But, does that make you foragainst him? ;)
24 posted on 03/14/2004 8:30:06 AM PST by Fawnn (Canteen wOOhOO Consultant and CookingWithPam.com person)
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To: Lando Lincoln
I'm "foragainst" bumping this great article to the top. Thanks!

Technically, if you are "foragainst" bumping this article, you would have composed it, maybe previewed it, but definitely not posted it. You would have waited for someone else to actually make such a grave, weighty decision after a lengthy deliberation 'process' and votes of several legislative bodies, including international, and then asking the french if its OK.

Lets face it...you're committed to bumping this great article. You have failed your 'foragainst' certification...you can't weasel out of it.

BUMP

25 posted on 03/14/2004 8:41:20 AM PST by blanknoone (If our enemies want Kerry to be President, should Americans?)
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To: Fawnn
Kerry is also intellectually dishonest. Those are two very good reasons to vote against him.
26 posted on 03/14/2004 8:46:09 AM PST by punster (q)
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To: William McKinley
"Again and again and again in the debate, it was made clear that the vote of the U.S. Senate and the House on the authorization of immediate use of force on Jan. 12 was not a vote as to whether or not force should be used."

Deja Voooodoooo all over again.
27 posted on 03/14/2004 8:57:09 AM PST by baseballmom
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To: baseballmom
Deja Vudoodoo...
28 posted on 03/14/2004 9:21:55 AM PST by metesky ("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
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To: William McKinley
BTTT
29 posted on 03/14/2004 10:57:38 AM PST by PeoplesRepublicOfWashington
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To: Fawnn
True! But, does that make you foragainst him? ;)

Exactly!

30 posted on 03/14/2004 11:00:21 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (Am Yisrael Chai!)
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To: William McKinley
ForAgainst BTTT.
31 posted on 03/14/2004 11:18:33 AM PST by spodefly (The kinder, gentler spodefly.)
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To: William McKinley
Bumping this article as I did in my previous post does not mean that I necessarily agree or disagree with it.
32 posted on 03/14/2004 11:19:43 AM PST by spodefly (The kinder, gentler spodefly.)
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To: metesky
"...Rudderless and adrift in high seas, the SS Kerry lurched about bashing the WWWWaves and twisting wildly foragainst the Swells while the oblivious Skipper was down below, busily marrying the crew..."
33 posted on 03/14/2004 11:19:59 AM PST by battlegearboat
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To: William McKinley
In fact, my BTTT was simply an acknowledgement that this article is the correct thing to BUMP, though not necessarily because I believe that it is correct in an of itself, herewith.
34 posted on 03/14/2004 11:21:34 AM PST by spodefly (The kinder, gentler spodefly.)
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To: William McKinley
Proffesor Irwin Cory would be proud that somebody was listening, and dismayed that they "GOT IT".. and missed humor completely. Can't figure out if I'm refering to John Kerry, Al Gore or Cornel West or all three and does it really matter anyway..
35 posted on 03/14/2004 11:36:25 AM PST by hosepipe
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To: battlegearboat
"...On a two hour tour,
a two hour tour"
36 posted on 03/14/2004 11:59:30 AM PST by metesky ("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
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To: William McKinley
"Teams of highly trained spelunkers have descended into the darkness of the floor speech he gave on Oct. 10, 1998, searching for meaning, though none have returned alive."

One of many absolutely PRICELESS lines in this terrific, hilarious article! David Brooks is gooooood!
37 posted on 03/14/2004 12:20:37 PM PST by Maria S ("I will do whatever the Americans want…I saw what happened in Iraq, and I was afraid." Gaddafi, 9/03)
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To: William McKinley
From the NY Slimes? Anyone have that sign for "Hell" with icicles hanging off it?
Someone must have been asleep at the copy desk yesterday ... ;-)
38 posted on 03/14/2004 12:32:17 PM PST by Tunehead54 (Support Our Troops!)
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To: William McKinley
bttt
39 posted on 03/14/2004 2:07:35 PM PST by MEG33 (John Kerry's been AWOL for two decades on issues of National Security!)
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To: William McKinley
Do you know anything about Brooks? The name is unfamiliar to me. And this article is one of the funniest I've read in a long time.
Does he always nail it like this?
40 posted on 03/14/2004 4:39:40 PM PST by speekinout
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