Posted on 04/14/2004 9:49:28 AM PDT by LonePalm
Be A Pest©
Be Our Guest -- Words and music by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman
Parody and copyright by LonePalm
[Democrat Convention Spokesman, Gloomiere:]
[Spoken and sung in a bad French accent.]
Mon cher J. F’n Kerry, it is with deepest regret
And greatest reluctance that we welcome you tonight.
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull out our
hair as the convention loudly presents -
your nomination!
[Gloomiere:]
Be a pest
Be a pest
Put their patience to the test
Tie a noose round your neck, Kerry
And Rove will do the rest
Flap du jour, gripe and gritch
Why, you only seem to bitch.
Use your grey stuff, now there’s a flaw
Don't believe me? Ask Limbaugh.
You can whine,
You can prance,
After all this, go call France
And your effort here is only second best.
Go on unfold your campaign
Take a chance and then
You'll be a pest,
Oui, a pest,
Such a pest.
Grief and poo, day-by-day
Your whole career, en flambé
We'll prepare and serve with flair
A electoral cabaret.
You're alone
And you're scared
But Hillary is all prepared
We’re not gloomy or complaining
And we think you’re entertaining.
Bush tells jokes,
You make slips
With your fellow cast of dips
Come on, you’ll be great.
You might even win a state.
To be a pest
If you're stressed
It's soft whining we suggest.
Be a pest
Such a pest
You’re a pest.
[Gloomiere: semi-spoken]
Life is sad and dour.
For a leftist without power
He's not whole without a soul to prey upon.
Ah, those good old days when we ran things.
Suddenly those good old days are gone.
Four years of readjusting,
Needing so much more than lusting.
Needing exposure, a chance to use our shills.
Most days we just complain about the hassle.
Woman, Black, or Jew,
Dean destructs and we get you?
[Teddy Kennedy:]
It's a pest!
It's a pest!
I’m quite sure you’re not the best.
Wine's been drunk, I think we’re sunk
You’ll never carry the Midwest.
With defeat
You'll go ski
And mon cher that's fine with me
While the Sharpton does his soft-shoein'
I'll be ranting, I'll be spewing.
I'll call Sean
With some rot.
Heaven's sakes! Is that some scotch?
Get some ice! We want the count-er-y impressed
We've got a lot to do.
Is it one chump or two?
For you, our pest!
[Chorus:]He's our pest!
[Teddy Kennedy:] He's our pest!
[Chorus:]
He's our pest!
He's our pest
He's our pest
The White House is our hot quest
It's four years since we've had anybody there.
And we're obsessed
With our perks
Not with facts
Yes, indeed, we aim to tax.
While the convention's still glowing
Let us help you
We'll keep going.
[Gloomiere and Chorus:]
State by state
One by one
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"
Then we'll all drift off to sleep as you digress
Tonight you'll hear us cheer so,
But it’s not your year so,
Be a pest!
Oui, a guest!
Be our pest!
Please, be our pest!
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Please let me know if you want on or off the Parody ping list.
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
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