AN URGENT MESSAGE FROM KOFI ANNAN (SATIRE)

04/28/04 | vanity

[genefromjersey]

This must stop !

It was bad enough when you American Crusaders brazenly invaded peace-loving Iraq: thereby cutting off the flow of mmmmmm.....gratuities to individuals and institutions administering the Food for Bribes programme;even worse when,acting under no colour of legitimate UN authority,you advanced your barbarian hordes so swiftly poor Saddam had no opportunity to deploy his chemical weaponry; thereby grinding suffering Iraq under your insufferable heel;but this...this is despicable !

Your evil Marines,instead of negotiating patiently with the heroic defenders of Fallujah,chose to bombard them from the air: destroying large quantities of their badly-needed munitions and explosives !

How, sir ? How, I ask,are these poor chaps to defend themselves against your vile depredations when you keep blowing up their munitions ???

You chaps will never win over their hearts and minds this way !

Mmmmm.... I believe I shall compose a sternly-worded letter to The New York Times.

[Rocky]

You forgot to add the part where he says you can have $5 million tax-free if you just send $100,000 to his post office box in Nigeria.

[Pylot]

How about this, Kofi spams the planet with a message that reads:

Hello and although you do not know me you were referred too me by a trusted business associate. I was the head of the UN and during which time I came to have the results of a program deposited in a suisse bank account which, because of my profile I dare not touch.

I am proposing to give you 5% of the proceeeds of this account if you will help me in ascertaining it for my benefit...............