Morford: 11 Hard Questions For Bush

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, April 30, 2004 | Mark Morford; 2 weeks without a missed deadline

[hobbes1]

Thats funny, I didn't think the Former Anal Virgin, ever had ANYTHING HARD for a Bush....

[Sybeck1]

Does she have archives lauding the benefits of Clinton's war crimes in Kosovo?

[Kay]

If she is concerned about death she might consider looking at mortality statistics.

Average Lifespans:

Married man --- 75 yrs

Divorced man --- 59 yrs

Gay man (without AIDS)- 42 yrs

Gay man (with AIDS) -- 40 yrs

The media does not like to mention these facts. Is it because they involve moral issues? Funny that morality would have a role in lifespan.

[GiveEmDubya]

Wow, this time Morford really has a bug (or similar) up his a$$.

[Skooz]

Ms Morford's love doll

[presidio9]

ping

[presidio9]

Not that we needed it, but it is worh pointing out that when a critic starts talking about Global Warming Theory, it is a sure sign that he's completely lost.

[CyberAnt]

"oily corporate stratagems"

This is where the idiot loses all credibility - as if he had any to begin with.

The only people connected to oil (in Iraq), were the UN, France, Russia, China, and Germany, and a whole host of other people and countries - AMAZINGLY, BUSH AND CHENEY AND HALLIBURTON ARE NOT ON THE LIST.

This proves there is an agenda for the ultra left, and the TRUTH has nothing to do with it.

[randog]

Markie was suspended for a few weeks.

Oh? Do tell!

[MoJo2001]

Dear Mr.Morford,

Do you bend over and say "Ahhhh" often?

[Democratshavenobrains]

Is Morford too stupid to see ANY hypocrisy in the fact that he says Christian fundamentalists hate other peoples beliefs, while saying that they are all repressed homos?

[little jeremiah]

Morford's "columns" are proof, as if we need any more, that homosexuality is a serious mental and emotional pathology. And when promoted and practiced, turns into criminal insanity.

Solution? Incarceration in Vacaville Facility for the Criminally Insane maybe?

Sorry if I sound harsh. I am sick of a tiny percentage of people who have serious personal problems forcing themselves, literally and figuratively, on the 98% rest of the population, especially in schools.

[annyokie]

http://timblair.spleenville.com/archives/006435.php

[little jeremiah]

Homosexual Agenda Ping - I had decided not to pollute the ether with any more pinging of Madame Morford's "columns" (or, one could call them written effluvia) but changed my mind.

Let people see what the homosexual spokespersons think and say. Let your friends, relatives, coworkers and fellow congregants know what is being spewed. So many people haven't woken up yet to the radical homosexual agenda and deviant plans for us and OUR CHILDREN.

Enlighten them. Think of it like a burning house. If someone is sleeping and the house is burning down, is it kinder to let them sleep, or to toss some cold water on them so they can wake up in time to save themselves and their families?

Let me know if anyone wants on/off this pinglist.

[dufekin]

Let me attempt to answer these questions on behalf of the President, considering that he'll probably get them all at his next news conference (which is why he doesn't hold many):

(1) A train fully of homosexual newlyweds leaves San Francisco. Some invariably miserable Christians leave Texas. When will the miserable Christians want to change trains?

PRESIDENT: Never, sir, never. Let me explain: the premise of your question is woefully incorrect. Christian fundamentalists and Americans who hold a favorable opinion of "The Passion of the Christ" are not "vaguely miserable" as you claim. Most are very happy, optimistic Americans who enjoy their station in life. Obviously you don't get to leave San Francisco all that much. Maybe you should visit some place like Texas--and come with an open mind. When we go to church--or synagogue or mosque--we typically experience joy, not misery.

[dufekin]

Nice answers. Let me try some.

(2) You are very comofortable with the fact that you've killed several hundred of our nation's soldiers, wounded thousands more, and killed tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis and Afghans. Do you laugh to mock the victims of your oil wars? Are you God? No, you're a lunatic warlord controlled by puppeteers!

PRESIDENT: Sir...sir--I don't know where to start. Okay, first things first. I am not God; I'm just an ordinary human being trying to do God's work to the best of my ability. Although I try to serve God, I'm just a human; I have free will, and I am not infallible. Nor am I a lunatic. You seemingly have forgotten that America suffered a brutal terrorist attack on 11 September 2001.

You have forgotten how you felt that awful day, to see your country under attack, and three thousand of our dearest fellow Americans ruthlessly killed. You have forgotten when those towers fell, and our compatriots' living hell. How dare you say that we should not worry about Usama bin Laden, al-Qaida, weapons of mass destruction, or any of the other threats that this country faces. After that horrific attack, we will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail in our quest to stop terrorism and eliminate the terrorists from this planet. We must Do you understand? Obviously not!

I went to Ground Zero in New York in the days following that horrendous tragedy. Let me assure you of one thing: never will I forget it. I do not take lightly the massacre of three thousand of my people at the hands of cowardly terrorists.

Have you forgotten all the people killed? Some went down like heroes in that Pennsylvania field. Have you forgotten about our Pentagon? And all the loved ones that we lost and those left to carry on? Don't you tell me not to worry about bin Laden! Have you forgotten?

Perhaps you should find those harrowing images of New York City and see your fellow Americans blown into oblivion by a few cowardly terrorist murderers. Then maybe you might understand why I am willing to pay any price and bear any burden to defend this great nation and to ensure that the terrorists do not win. So are the fine men and women of our military.

I've had the pleasure of meeting thousands of our soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines. I've met personally with the families of the dead, and I visit Walter Reed Medical Hospital regularly. I know that these fine men and women make a great sacrifice for their country. It is important for you to understand that these people make this sacrifice voluntarily and few regret it. They are the front lines in the war on terror. We are at war.

Every death is a tragedy--and I would rather avoid death. You need to understand one thing: We love and cherish life; our enemy cherishes death, and desires nothing more and nothing less than our annihilation. I think and pray hard and long before I commit our troops to a battle because I understand the risks. But I also understand the rewards. Saddam Hussein no longer sends his secret police to kill his people. He no longer fills mass graves. He no longer attacks his own people with poison gas. He no longer murders his citizens for his own personal entertainment. He no longer rapes young girls.

But I must ask you again: have you forgotten?

3) Your God told you to bomb a bunch of defenseless paupers in foreign lands to oblivion. You are a drunkard, druggie, felon, deserter. You harbor the secrets of your Governorship and your business ethics. You are a repeat abject failure in everything you have ever done. Can you sleep at night? Of course not, you have wretched nightmares! Don't bother answering, you scum!

PRESIDENT: I'd better answerer that! Everything you said is false. I've already discussed my relationship with God at length; you just didn't listen. Although I've done some things that were wrong in my past, I haven't time to discuss it with you; you won't listen anyway. And you're wrong on the last count, too. I sleep peacefully at night. I don't have nightmares. I understand my role in the world. It isn't easy, but you couldn't be more wrong.

(4) A million people marched on Washington recently, protesting your anti choice policies. Meanwhile, you monkey...you went on vacation. Would you let your daughter take an abortion pill after a mistake at a beer bash?

PRESIDENT: I would appreciate your respect for my daughter's privacy. She is an adult and can make her own decisions. I've told you that I cherish life, and I even cherish the lives of unborn babies. Those lives are very real. Moreover, we're bringing fundamental rights to the women of Iraq and Afghanistan. They aren't raped by Saddam Hussein, and the don't have to wear burqas.

Thank you and good night.

[NYC GOP Chick]

I think you need to use the pic in #5 when pinging folks to Miss Morford's latest public meltdowns!