Morford: 11 Hard Questions For Bush

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Friday, April 30, 2004 | Mark Morford; 2 weeks without a missed deadline

[presidio9]

Thank you for your time, Mr. President.

Just a few questions, purely for clarification, so the American people might understand you better. I know you're busy, packing for another vacation or something. This won't take but a few minutes. Here, have a soda. Let's begin:

1) Mr. President, if a train leaves San Francisco at 10 am carrying 1,000 happily gay happily married couples and travels at 85 mph for three hours, while at the very same moment a train departs Crawford, Texas, loaded with 2,000 vaguely miserable Christian fundamentalists and nail-wearing fanatics of "The Passion of the Christ" and travels in exactly the opposite direction at 65 mph for the same amount of time, at what point will almost every single fundamentalist secretly wish s/he could be the towel boy for the hot-tub parties on the other train?

2) Dubya, as you're apparently comfortable with the fact that more than 700 young U.S. soldiers have died in Iraq (over 125 this month alone!) and thousands more have been wounded and hundreds more will doubtlessly die in the coming months, not to mention the countless thousands of innocent Iraqi/Afghan civilians who've been killed, all as a result of your aggro-American policy to rid the world of all those who would stand in the way of your oily corporate stratagems, does this mean you are able to laugh in the face of death and mock the vagaries of time and fate?

[cspackler]

Once again, Ms Morford shows his/her ignorance. Towel boy on a gay train? Yeah, sounds like a real hoot to me...

[bigeasy_70118]

Was this written by Rene Gonzalez?

[WinOne4TheGipper]

(over 125 this month alone!)

Sounds like someone is excited about the fact that soldiers are dying because of their stupid little political points. Shame on you, Morford. Shame on all of you liberals for politicizing the war.

[presidio9]

Morford Ping

[DAPFE8900]

I cant even begin to fathom this crap. The left is blinded by their hate of GW to even comment would be lowering my self to the sheer idiocy of these COMMIEPONDSCUMTRAITORS!

[macrahanish #1]

Miss Morford seems especially bitter this week. Perhaps Lemmiwinks is causing gastrointestinal discomfort.

[cardinal4]

I have noticed Ms. Morfords articles are posted right around the same time of the month, perhaps we should send her some

[billbears]

I may disagree with the President on several issues but this article is plain hateful

[x1stcav]

Morford is an example of somebody who has been buggered too often.

[randog]

...at what point will almost every single fundamentalist secretly wish s/he could be the towel boy for the hot-tub parties on the other train?

Wow, a sexual reference in the first paragraph. Miss Morford can usually hold out 'til the middle of her article before climaxing.

[annyokie]

Markie was suspended for a few weeks. He couldn't pace himself after all that down time.

[Little Pig]

Since the President has far better things to do than bother with pathetic turd-burglars like Morford, I will take the liberty of answering for him:

1) At no point. And thank you for putting such nasty images in my head.

2) Neither. I am merely a man (as if you could say the same). And no, you didn't even come close to answering your own question.

3) Have you stopped beating your boyfriend yet? Sheesh. To answer your question, I sleep just fine, thanks to those "Rough men". (Though I rather suspect "rough men" has a far different connotation to you, and it has nothing to do with sound sleep.)

4) I don't know what you were watching, but the only "radiant women" I saw at that march weren't participating, and what I did see participating would never be decribed as radiant. My family's medical business is a private matter.

5) You know, as someone for whom the word "Castro" has nothing to do with obsolete caribbean dictators, you probably shouldn't be trying to quiz me on world or political geography.

6) When you can even plausibly demonstrate that human activity has contributed one single calorie to any global temperature rise, let me know. Until then, I suggest you get caught up on the latest in climatic theory (no, not climactic. Ugh). That whole "hockey stick" graph thing? Turns out the researcher fudged the data (someone you know?).

7) I dunno what "god" you deal with, but my God is an awesome God, and I will answer to HIM when the time comes. In the meantime, I very much doubt you have any inside line on any divine opinion of me. By the phrasing of that question, I rather suspect you fall into the latter of those groups you listed. You know that, with the possible exception of the Buddhists, all those groups you listed have a strong dislike for pagans, and consider them heretics? I note you deliberately didn't list Islam in that list of peaceful religions. I wonder why that might be?

8) The economy is just as bad as it was when you re-elected Mr. Clinton, and you didn't have any problems with his failures (any boy, if you only knew...). As for the UN, since when have they ever been relevant?

9) If that's what you call modern culture, it's no wonder you have missed the boat so badly on all the other questions. My answer to your list? Who cares? I have more important things to deal with.

10) And if that's where I am, where does that put you, column boy?

11) Whatever I put there, I doubt very much He will look more kindly on your pile of...no, I won't say that. It's too foul.

[presidio9]

The suspension was a cover story. She was in detox.

[.cnI redruM]

Why does he steal our oxygen? This man makes my head hurt.

[RightWingAtheist]

I thought Morford normally wasn't hard on bush.

[Little Pig]

8) (any boy...) = (and boy)

&$% rented fingers....

[sauropod]

Miss Morford at it again.

[annyokie]

Aha! I see it didn't take.

[sauropod]

that photo sure fits, LOL!