It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend.
I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercings and tattoos and his big motorcycle.
But is not only that, Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams.
I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasies we may want.
In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, for Ahmed to get better, he deserves it.
Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'll visit for you to know your grandchildren.
Your daughter, Renee'
PS: Mom, it's not true. I'm at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk's drawer ... I love you!
Is the neighbor's name Ahmed? :>
Read the whole thing, laugh, and be thankful to GOD that I had raised a child with a wonderful sense of humor!!!!!!
IF my wife sent me this I would try to ground her too, but she never obeys me.
So would I, after I recovered from the heart failure!
That's a funny one. Thanks for sharing.
I'd break a bunch of stuff in her room and leave the fake-blood stained letter outside the bathroom. Then I'd turn on the tub faucet a little (with the tub unplugged) lock the bathroom door and go have a nice evening out.
It's not nice to scare parents half to death.
When she got home from the neighbors, she would not be grounded but would definitely be more familiar with a leather belt and wouldn't be able to sit for a day or two......
Got it about a month ago.
Dearest Daughter...
It is with additional regret that I tell you I lost my job today and you'll have to move in with those neighbors you seem so found of. My boss, Mrs. Smith, finally caught me shack'n up with her husband. Your mother freaked when she found out I'm gay, but that explains why I've been sleeping on the couch for the last year. BTW, she left for California today to finally met her online 'friend'.
Anyway, that is why the house is for sale. You're on your own for the rest of high school and college (sorry, that was mean. you're not going to college). Let me know when you get your pot-plants harvested because my connects are blown lately.
I'm glad you've met some one who obviously cares so deeply for you. I'd love to met him... is he cute?
Love,
Dad
ps: this isn't true either, but your a$$ is grounded for life because I love you enough to really care.
LOL...that kid's got a great future in comedy.
ping :-)
As soon as I saw my daughter, I would inform her that she aged me prematurely for a few seconds and hand her the below:
I had a drug problem when I was young.
I was drug to church on Sunday morning.
I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.
I was drug to family reunions no matter the weather
I was drug to the bus stop to go to school every weekday.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and
teachers.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents. Those
drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do,
say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin, and if
today's children had this kind of drug problem, America might be a better
place.
Signed, Old Person
Puts things in perspective - after one regains consciousness....
If it was my 15-year-old son, I'd be kinda proud he could write such a nice letter.
Dang! Why didn't I think of that one? I was so dumb, I didn't even try to change the grades! :)
A friend of mine did this when she told her mom that she smoked cigarettes. First she said, "Mom, I'm pregnant. OK, really I'm not, but I smoke."
Worked like a charm.