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Hell Looks an Awful Lot Like the Republican Convention (From Canada, with love.)
The Globe and Mail ^ | September 2, 2004 | John Doyle

Posted on 09/02/2004 1:34:33 PM PDT by quidnunc

A man in Michigan wrote to me last week and said, "Please go to hell or stay in Canada, whichever you prefer."

His suggestion arose because of remarks made here about Democrat John Kerry, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and the general state of the American media.

Now I have news for the man in Michigan. Recently, I succeeded in staying in Canada and simultaneously visiting hell. I have been watching coverage of the Republican Convention.

There are many horrible ways of inflicting pain on oneself, but this has got to be one of the worst. You get agitated and then worried that you're getting all those side-effects that you're warned about on those American commercials for prescription drugs — headache, nausea and hypertension. Your stomach churns, you turn numb. You learn that Vice-President Dick Cheney is now America's granddad.

The tactical point of this Republican convention is to show the allegedly "compassionate" side of the Republicans. It's working. What makes a viewer particularly nauseous is watching the television media roll over to have its tummy rubbed by Republicans.

-snip-

(Excerpt) Read more at theglobeandmail.com ...


TOPICS: Canada; Editorial; Extended News; Foreign Affairs; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: doyle; johndoyle
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1 posted on 09/02/2004 1:34:33 PM PDT by quidnunc
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To: quidnunc

From reading your past comments I'm assuming that you don't share the writers sentiments.


2 posted on 09/02/2004 1:36:18 PM PDT by cripplecreek (The economy won't matter if you're dead.)
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To: quidnunc

The only difference between France and Canada is us.


3 posted on 09/02/2004 1:37:15 PM PDT by KJacob (God's purpose is never the same as man's purpose.)
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To: cripplecreek
cripplecreek wrote: From reading your past comments I'm assuming that you don't share the writers sentiments.

That's a safe assumption.

4 posted on 09/02/2004 1:42:47 PM PDT by quidnunc (Omnis Gaul delenda est)
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To: quidnunc
Tuesday evening it was Arnold Schwarzenegger telling implausible stories about the Soviet menace in the Austria of his boyhood, and extolling the United States as if it was the only country with jobs, business opportunity and freedom of the press

Somebody needs to remind this guy that the Canadian government has banned FOX news.

5 posted on 09/02/2004 1:44:29 PM PDT by Yardstick
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To: quidnunc

Canuck vomit at its best.


6 posted on 09/02/2004 1:44:35 PM PDT by RockinRight (Liberalism IS the status quo)
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To: quidnunc
This sanctimonious writer jumps from Laura Bush right past last nights tremendous speeches. Wonder why that is?

NFP

7 posted on 09/02/2004 1:44:50 PM PDT by Notforprophet (Democrats have stood their own arguments on their heads so often that they now stand for nothing)
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To: quidnunc

For a country who supposedly hates the United States, they sure do spend an awful lot of time obsessing over us.


8 posted on 09/02/2004 1:45:29 PM PDT by Arpege92 (We're here! We're Conservative! And we're in your face! - theDentist)
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To: KJacob
The only difference between France and Canada is us.

Quality of the food...

9 posted on 09/02/2004 1:45:34 PM PDT by Onelifetogive (* Sarcasm tag ALWAYS required. For some FReepers, sarcasm can NEVER be obvious enough.)
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To: quidnunc
"There are many horrible ways of inflicting pain on oneself, but this has got to be one of the worst."

Oh goodie. Well, then, Ms. Doily, er, Doyle -- SUFFER. With a pain threshold that low, you deserve nothing but derision, you pathetic girly-man.

Click the Gadsden flag for pro-gun resources!

10 posted on 09/02/2004 1:46:00 PM PDT by Joe Brower (The Constitution defines Conservatism.)
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To: quidnunc
Austria is now a member country of the European Union, with better guarantees on health care and wages than any state in America. Nobody mentioned that

Listen, you Socialist--our per capita income and standard of living is still better than Austria. Perhaps the "guarantee" you mention is worth about as much as a nice pile of bovine excrement.

11 posted on 09/02/2004 1:47:23 PM PDT by RockinRight (Liberalism IS the status quo)
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To: quidnunc

Hey, Canada, STFU! Without US you'd all be speaking German, Russian, or Japanese as would the rest of the world. And without US you'll all be bowing to Mecca someday while some doofus armed with a sword lops off the limbs and heads of those who refuse to convert....


12 posted on 09/02/2004 1:48:59 PM PDT by freebilly
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To: KJacob

No, No, the difference is as simple as #1 and #2. But when they are gone the relief is the same.


13 posted on 09/02/2004 1:49:18 PM PDT by blue-duncan
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To: quidnunc

Canada? Canada? Home to mediocre beer, crappy academics and lousy medical services. A 'country' that who can't field an army, navy or air force to protect its own borders. If the author has so much contempt for America why doesn't he stay on his own side of the border? Some people just can't understand what is staring them in the face. Sheesh!


14 posted on 09/02/2004 1:51:08 PM PDT by NHResident
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To: quidnunc

If I owned Canada and Hell, I'd live in Hell and rent out Canada.


15 posted on 09/02/2004 1:51:58 PM PDT by wbill
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To: quidnunc
At least you don't have to wonder if the delagates to the RNC are ALIVE. At least the RNC has decent music, rather than senile geriatrics famous 30 years ago, tottering around stage, shrieking their own music off key. At least the First Lady was clean, sober and coherant when she took center stage. In fact, at least all the speakers thus far have been coherant.

After subjecting myself to the entire DNC - with brief pauses for the bathroom, meals and fighting the need to slam my head against the keyboard repeatedly, I can honestly say I'm in a position to outline the difference between the two.

Disjointed attempts to use musical notes to create the appearance of coherance and monotone presentations aside, if you DID suffer through the entire DNC, you might come away with the idea that appeasement, the murder of babies and the glory of the gay lifestyle are the epitome of American values.

If you HAVE watched the entire RNC thus far, you can see they are not.

16 posted on 09/02/2004 1:57:16 PM PDT by cake_crumb (UN Resolutions=Very Expensive, Very SCRATCHY Toilet Paper)
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To: quidnunc

Now you know the CBC and CTV will only show mommies and little girls - they would never show anything of substance to upset their placid, laid-back nanny-driven population.

Perhaps some will enjoy the AlJazeera take on the GOP frolics - imagine all those short skirted women!

They wish to keep insulated thank you and we should be grateful they "allowed" any soundbites they did from the evil empire to the south.

The Globe and Mail should stick with heavy subjects like school lunches and flu shots for winter.


17 posted on 09/02/2004 1:58:18 PM PDT by imintrouble
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To: quidnunc

I would like the satisfaction of telling this SOB, John Dole, to his face to go to hell!!!


18 posted on 09/02/2004 1:59:23 PM PDT by RAY (They that do right are all heroes!)
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To: quidnunc

Anglo-Canadians in the Pacific and Eastern time zones undergo a form of state-mandated brainwashing from the moment they are born, through which they become incapable of normal adult responsibility for their own safety and survival. Similar to the lamented Dodo bird, they will be rendered extinct in the near future, displaced and/or assimilated by Oriental, Indian, and Middle Eastern immigrants. French Canadians, in spite of their many, many, many faults, recognized what was happening in the 1960s, and walled-off the rest of Canada as quickly as possible. They're French, but not completely stupid. The author of the article, on the other hand, is completely stupid.


19 posted on 09/02/2004 1:59:23 PM PDT by Ironclad (O Tempora! O Mores!)
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To: quidnunc
Lady, women all over the world have been owning and running businesses for decades. Your country is no beacon of hope in that regard.

Canada is irrelevant and no where near the "beacon of hope" the U.S.A. has been to people all over the world.

20 posted on 09/02/2004 2:01:26 PM PDT by Jagdgewehr
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