Freeper Needs Help-- People Are Starting To Tell Me I Look Like John Kerry!

10/4/04 | dukeman

[dukeman]

Perhaps I'm overreacting, but a recent phenomenon is starting to get to me. Within the past ten days or so, two perfect strangers have approached me and said I look like John Kerry.

I don't do anything to provoke this. I'm just me. It happened again tonight at the mall when I was picking up new eyeglasses. The lab tech, apparently thinking he was Jay Leno, stepped out of the lab in his little smock and said, "Hey, does anybody ever say that you look like John Kerry?"

My wife grabbed her sides in laughter (she knows I hate this). I turned to the lab guy and replied, "Yeah, but the last guy who said that is in the hospital now." He laughed and quickly added that he's a Bush supporter. He trotted off to grind more lenses and all was forgiven. Of course, my wife snorted under her breath, "Yeah, like you're 6'4"!" I'm actually about 5'10", but it's all prime, conservative male.

So, my problem is-- what do I do about, or with, this unfortunate accident of birth?

[dukeman]

Sorry, but I don't have a photo (or the technical ability to do anything with it), so you can't gauge the resemblance for yourselves. I don't think it's that strong, but these yo-yos keep bringing it up!

[jwalburg]

You really need to post one.

[flashbunny]

my condolences.

[Chad Fairbanks]

Well, next time someone says something, just reply "Yeah, ansd you have no idea how many problems that caused me on my secret Cambodia missions..."

[beckysueb]

Yes, we definitely need a photo so we can help you better.

[jwalburg]

Just wear a T-shirt with BUSH on it until November and that should end the problem, I would think.

[blues_guitarist]

[Freedom'sWorthIt]

NOOOO - say - oh thank you - He is my brother and now I want to relate to you some of the things I know about him that perhaps you haven't heard about: Did you know - .........

[Billthedrill]

OK, so we kidnap the real one and insert you into the next debate. You could flap your hands and gyrate and mouth stupid platitudes and make Kerry look like a complete fool...

Oh, wait a minute. The real one already did that. Never mind.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

http://www.google.com/search?q=plastic+surgery&btnG=Search+the+Web

[DesertDreamer]

Are you certain that your wife isn't setting you up? ;o)

[Bronzewound]

So, my problem is-- what do I do about, or with, this unfortunate accident of birth?

I'm sending you some 50% off coupons for Botox treatments. Something tells me you may need them eventually.

[quantim]

I feel your pain. I used to be compared to Superman before he fell off the horse, ;-).

[Socratic]

Just say, "Yeah, that's what people say but when I speak they find out I'm much more intelligent." (A nice little Kerry put-down and a boost to yourself).

[CharlotteVRWC]

So stop with the botox and fake orange tans....

[GSlob]

Well, you might try to come to the 2nd debate, impersonate Kerry, loudly confess all his shortcomings on live TV (and blow the debate for him). Report to Presidential Debates Commission immediately. Or, alternatively, if the word reaches Tharaysa, there might be some extra friction for the original kerry on the home front...

[beckysueb]

Great picture of The Prez and First Lady. Typical pic of the doofus and her hagness.

[EagleUSA]

Wow -- not good. Should Kerry actually end up in the White House (God strike me down for saying that) you may need a rather large plastic surgery make-over for your own protection.

[mcshot]

Mr Duke,
Take good care of your wife cuz you may not find another.

Sorry couldn't resist.

Best to you and your wife.

McSmartA$$ :>)

[rllngrk33]

How about making a poster of your self saying something like:

I support President Bush.

Make sure you have Bush/Cheney bumper stickers and yard signs. If the RATs steal or deface them, make lots of noise about it to Media.