Ted, by the way, lived in the area (Arlington Heights) and is a graduate of St. Viator High School there.
Posted on 12/01/2004 11:07:22 AM PST by Land_of_Lincoln_John
CHICAGO (CBS 2) Controversial rocker Ted Nugent is offering up his services in a dilemma that has folks in North Barrington saying "oh deer."
People living in the Wynstone Estates say deer are tearing up their landscaping. So last week the village voted to allow bow hunters to come in and kill about 20 deer.
But one critic called it dangerous to hunt in such a populated area and likened bow hunters to “six-pack swilling fans of Ted Nugent.”
“The Nuge" responded, offering to personally take care of North Barrington's deer population.
“All they got to do is give me a call, and I'll whack 'em and stack 'em and kill 'em and grill 'em and celebrate with the venison party God has blessed us with,” Nugent said.
Nugent went on to call critics of deer hunting ignorant, citing the growing number of drivers killed in deadly crashes involving deer.
Ted, by the way, lived in the area (Arlington Heights) and is a graduate of St. Viator High School there.
Uncle Ted ROCKS!!!
The "Nug" friggin rules.
Not only ignorant, but arrogant. Look at that quote from the critic. What a d*ck.
Ted has more gray matter than half Harvards faculty combined.
Anyway, on one show, he's clearing a tree with a chainsaw and took a chunk out of his leg.
That was cool. Ted rocks.
That one critic is an ignorant ass.
1. I don't drink when I hunt.
2. I don't drink around guns.
3. Ted Nugent doesn't drink 6-packs or gets drunk.
You oughta write to Mr. Nugent and invite him to your land. Tell him a bit about yourself and invite him! I bet you anything he'd come.
Ping
I Have A Dream.
Round up all liberal Democrats and transport them to Ted's acreage by the truckload. Arm them each with a Smith & Wesson. Give them one hour to scatter like cockroaches.
Then, unleash the Nug. Any liberal Democrat not already hunted, skinned and eaten would shoot itself within an hour in sheer terror.
Ted could then give all Bush voters a few taxidermy lessons. Everyone would have a prize to mount upon the wall.
Priceless.
Whenever a local area, particularly a tony one, gets too many deer there is always the faction that gets queasy at the idea of actually killing Bambi and stops the hunting.
The alternative is simple. Let the animals outgrow the food supply, let them eat the bark off their trees, and then, when the trees have no more to give, die from a lack of food.
Not a pleasant way to go.
But the locals don't have to think about that part of it, because they never seen it. Starving deer do not usually die in people's yards.
But the citified folk feel good that Thumper will not see his pal shot.
Nah, the bunny can just watch his buddy slowly die of starvation.
There is a lot more to environmentalism and conservation than not taking out Bambi.
The Nuge tells it like it is.
Bless me Gomer Bubba, for I have sinned. It has been about 46 years since my last confession. You see, my family craves the ultimate healthfood of our precious venison backstrap, plus I deeply value the sacred healing powers and soulful lessons of nature and all that spiritual discipline of the mighty hands-on conservation lifestyle of hunting. I put my heart and soul into being the best hunter I can be, and I follow the proven rules of engagement and those obvious self-evident truths of the pure tooth, fang and claw laws of nature's wild truth. But here is where I apparently have gone astray. You see, I have heard brown spittle saturated grumblings from a few unclean nutjobs out there who are so desperately trying to dictate what is quite clearly, sheer, illogical, over the top buffoonery to their fellow hunters. At first I thought it was just a dark comedy act auditioning for a spot with the Michael Jackson kids choir, but no one was laughing. Their typical holier than thou stupidity usually comes in the form of small minded, ultra-petty, lilly livered wanna-be's making idiotic accusations of unethical behavior by others from their make-believe insulated ivory towers of self anointed superior godliness. Did I mention ugh?
I hear variations of Bubba-bonics and through the talented efforts of specialized linguistical masters of foreign tongues, even voodoo tongues; we have translated some rare inbred cult of ego maniacs whose ignorance is eclipsed only by their hypocrisy. With fresh skanky turds in their lips, the ever present accompanying Styrofoam catch cup dripping toxic goo in hand, plus that always painful struggle to form cognitive thoughts and sentences, they claim that those of us who dare occasionally bait in deer for a hopeful effective kill must seek their holiness, exoneration and forgiveness. Fresh from the cult of stuffed shirt pomposity, this insane clown posse is prepared to condemn us lowly baiters from the elitist good old boy ranks of hunting, for how dare we lure in deer or other game into shooting range with actual bait? Unethical they squaller. Fairchase or nothing they pontificate. Eat me I respond.
So it is now, I whimper for forgiveness on bended knee, for I have committed many more atrocities against the great spirit of the beast. You see, heartless and dominating bastard that I am, I not only occasionally bring some corn, apples, acorns, mineral salt, and BuckGrub and deerblocks to my lifelong scouted huntgrounds, but I have also planted highly nutritious foodplots into prime areas that I have scouted all my hardcore bowhunting and gunhunting life.
I guess I should be ashamed to admit that I have actually purchased commercially rendered and produced doe in heat deerlure in a bottle, and taken it to these well scouted funnels and swamp edges, and had the audacity to place this sex lure at a trail intersection where I could get a killer shot. There is rarely any hot does peeing in the best places, so I artificially place it myself. Oh woe is me. It gets worse.
Since I rarely hear or witness bucks fighting and smashing their antlers together where the battle could attract a shooter buck into a prime shooting location, I have cheated the great Gonzo gods of the hunt, and shamefully brought in my own rattling horns in a feeble attempt to attract a deer into a high percentage shotzone. Oh woe is me. Surely this cant be fair.
Not only that, but my deceitful ways go further yet. Knowing how vocal deer can be, but how rare it is we get to hear them grunting and tending each other, I'm afraid I don't wait for natural grunting and bleating, but rather purchase some Primos and A-Way deer calls in order to trick these unsuspecting herbivores to hang themselves by responding to my symphonic wonderment of guttural attractings. Pathetic aint it. How unethical can a few million deerhunters be, I ask you?
While I'm awaiting forgiveness from the Bubba Gomers out there, let us examine this condition of inbreeding and cannibalism as our own fellow American sporters piss and moan and pull these bizarre allegations out of their big, dumb butts.
Back around 1955 while bowhunting the big woods of my Uncle Dick's sacred huntcamp in the wilds of northern Michigan near Hillman and Hawks, this young hardcore new deerhunter would see deer feed in a same basic area of the forest every day. A midday examination of that spot woke me up to the importance of acorns and where a hunter might find em. There were better ambush locations other than right where the deer had been feeding, and so the genius that young Ted was, I bagged as many nuts as I could and simply relocated them to a better ambush setup. The deer came but I still didn't get a shot for a longtime because putting out preferred feed a clincher does not make. Over the years, I did the same with apples, pears, sugar beets, bread, carrots, tested some candy and pumpkins and turnips and popcorn. It was ridiculously simple. If we're bowhunting feisty whitetails, we were gonna have to hunt them where they were or try like hell to get em to be where we wanted em. Did I mention duh?
So to clarify just in case the numbnut huntclub may get someone to read this fun article for em, pay close attention please. You see, there is no difference whatsoever in the repositioning of sex scent lure for shot improvement to the repositioning of food for the same purpose. Ya think? Bringing rattling antler deer fighting sounds into an area there currently aren't any in an attempt to get a crack at a buck is baiting, pure and simple. Tantalizing a buck or doe into shooting position with a clever buckgrunt call is also the exact same thing as baiting with food. Just a little bit more effective in some regions and conditions. Decoys? Samething.
My point is this; the rampant inbreeding amongst hunters is really foolish and embarrassingly counterproductive to the growth of our beloved sport. Such inbreeding and the inherent cannibalism results everytime in the public looking at us like we are unsophisticated morons. Not good under any conditions, suicide in this politically correct culture war against our honorable heritage.
Until we squelch this vacuous attempt to define each others ethics and what is right and wrong in our sport, we recruit but a fraction of the essential newcomers who will vote for decent upgrade and project a sophistication that will improve the goodwill and decency that will attract entire families into our beloved outdoor lifestyle. Anybody?
Its one thing to choose a personal hunting method that one prefers for all the right reasons. But anyone against others baiting for game is stupid. Anyone who argues against legalizing Sunday hunting is braindead. Anyone against dove hunting is retarded. Anyone against crossbows being allowed during at least the last quarter of the regular archery season is a selfish, rotten person. Dumb. Anybody who supports hiring "sharpshooters" to kill our surplus deer, bear, elk, lion, geese or any other precious wildlife resource with our tax dollars while forbidding we the people from doin so is un-American, not to be trusted and downright goofy.
Fortunately, this lunatic fringe who so conveniently abandons and discards science, history and the American way is a shrinking clique, typically of drunks, dope smokers, substance abusers, tobacco chewers and smokers who flagrantly display life threatening behavior, yet still insanely expect someone to consider their advice as more than the pap that it is. Maybe we can get them all a bowling ball and a pen full of chickens. They could all squawk to their numbskull cluckheaded delight, while the rest of us throw out such nonsense and get on with the intellectual duty to manage our precious wildlife resources through sound scientific regulations. What a concept! Gomer McBubba, be silent or get lost.
For more Gomer Awards to the dolts of our sport, call TNUSA at 800-343-4868 and purchase back issues of Ted Nugent Adventure Outdoors magazine. Visit www.tednugent.com for more information.
I love the fact that "Nug" is so at ease with himself that he makes all the uptight, liberal, cheese-eating, tofu-farting, tree-hugging, socialist, welfare-pezzing, Clinton-loving blue staters butts hit pucker factor 10 when he opens his mouth. Rock on Uncle Ted!
Remember the time down in Florida? The rains caused high water levels and the deer were stranded and starving on the high areas. Their hooves were getting soft and starting to rot.
The state wanted to hunt off some of the deer. The tree hugger/rabbit kissers said no, they would trap and move the deer. They caught like 10 deer and 8 of them died from the chase. The nuts went home and the deer starved.
>Anyway, on one show, he's clearing a tree with a chainsaw >and took a chunk out of his leg.
I love it when he said "Can the Nuge survive the Nuge?" LOL Seriously, the only reason that happened is because those dumba**es wouldn't get out the way of a falling tree. I kept thinking 'dumb city slickers'.
I respect him for all he does for inner city kids, taking them to the forest and teaching them more than thuggery they get at home.
No offense, but I saw that episode. Nuge should stick to the hunting and leave the chainsawing to people who know what they are doing. He clearly did not know how to safely handle a saw, let alone how to properly fell a tree.
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