AL QAEDA PLANS TO DROP GAY BOMBS Men within 30 miles of the blast will instantly turn queer!

Weekly World News ^ | 08/10/2004 | Nick Jefferies

[Prime Choice]

EXTREMIST Muslim scientists are developing a bomb that turns anyone within a 30-mile radius of its blast into a homosexual, say U.S. Intelligence insiders.

Um...all your butts are belong to us?

[Petronski]

Let's hope they don't
also have "The Nude Bomb."

[SoDak]

It must be a blast being a writer for the Weekly World News.

[Lurker]

I wonder what Ed Anger will have to say about this.

L

[AntiGuv]

Hmmm.. A bomb full of Barbra Streisand CDs and Prince Alberts? This must be their most diabolical scheme yet!

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

The Pentagon's response to this flaccid menace was almost Halliburtonary in its evil brilliance. President Bush, Rove and the FCC commandeered the Emergency Broadcast System and began playing a John Wayne war movie marathon to protect and enhance the Nation's precious testosterone levels. At the same time, VP Cheney and the Secretary of War commandeered the Secretary of Agriculture, to immediately ramp up the manufacture of foot-long bladders of swine skin. Code-named, "Operation Super Bowl," the strategy is to drop millions of these pigskin devices in the sacred areas from a blimp....

[annyokie]

You bet. You can just make stuff up on the fly.

[BigCinBigD]

As long as it doesn't muss my hair. I really don't care.

[Petronski]

Subsequent airdrops featured Critical Manhood Reinforcement Kits, each of which included half-inch socket sets, wide-screen HDTVs, NFL Films DVD collections, big sandwiches, keychain bottleopeners, Weber Pro gas grills, High Karate shaving kits, Jack Daniels Black Label, Fast Actin' Tinactin, 8-1 remote controls, pound upon pound of various smoked meats, and Beer World Gift Certificates.

[Prime Choice]

As long as it doesn't muss my hair. I really don't care.

Won't matter if it does. We'll all be mobbed by hairdressers if that bomb works...

[Petronski]

Further land-based deliveries were expected to include Kegerator beer dispensing systems and chest-type freezers filled with Omaha Steaks.

[Capitalism2003]

San Francisco is safe...There won't be any casualties in that city.

[UCANSEE2]

The Onion? Sure sounds like it.

[Tall_Texan]

Those evil terrorists have already tested this bomb in San Francisco and it worked flawlessly. This was after a failed trial in Paris turned all the men into whiny cheese monkeys.

[SoDak]

I meant The Weekly World News, not the New York Times ;)

[Political Junkie Too]

I guess that nobody told Al Qaeda about "don't ask, don't tell?"

-PJ

[Dallas59]

Isn't the latest headline about Saddam getting beat up by a female inmate?

[The Spirit Of Allegiance]

....as the threat continued to loom, the Department of Education, acknowledging a critical 'girly-boy' situation in the nation's schools, sent all male teachers with necks less than 17" in short buses to interment camps...and granted the National Rifle Association a no-bid contract to provide all needed substitute teachers.

In the propaganda warfront, Hollywood responded as it did in WWII's Golden Age, with actors providing character-building patriotic tutorials carefully disguised as Midwestern tractor pulls and rodeos.

[freepatriot32]

one for your homosexual agenda ping :-)