But the sad reality is that these couples are usually not active members of any church before the weddings. In many cases, they scour around looking for any church, minister, priest, rabbi to perform a religious service. They just want the "old fashioned idea" of a big church wedding, but have shunned all other moral and religious traditions. And, after the wedding the couples hardly ever attend services again. Except, perhaps, a few return for the child's baptism, bris, confirmation, or on holidays.
I cannot understand their rationale. They flaunt their "modern attitudes," but they insist on the traditional blessing of a church. Why not just do this marriage with a Justice of the Peace, and leave religion out of it if you are not a religious person?
It is so hypocritical. For so many there is no scantity, no recognition of the spiritual union they are making, and no honoring of God for the gift of love He has given them to share between themselves and with a precious new life. It is just symbolic and materialistic. They are full of pride, self-importance, and an in-your-face attitude. It is just a sham, and very sad. One can only hope (and pray) that at some point they will return to their/some religion and re-evaluate themselves and their priorities.
From personal observation, so this is strictly anecdotal and carries my own personal observational bias, the young who are raised in the church graduate high school and go away to college. It is very rare for even the very religious to keep up with regular sundays. They generally return to the church when they are marrying and then fade away from regular attendance until the children are born. Then they tend to get back into regular attendance.
Your two points are very valid. I think they want the trappings of a traditional blessing as a "sanction by association." As long as they don't try and pass their mistake in timing as a good thing, I don't have a problem with them trying to do the right thing PROVIDED their attitude is "go forth and sin no more."
Some of them may not understand the "why" they are seeking out the church, but some WILL get it, some will know they are trying to make right in a wrong situation. It the situation of the farmer with the seeds. (farmer scaters seeds all over the place. Some land in rocks and do not grow, some land in rocky soil and only some grow, and some land in fertile soil and grow.)
You never know who will grow and "get it", but you have to try. (or is that you have to have faith?)