Posted on 04/01/2005 8:29:36 AM PST by SpyGuy
[Free Republic Note: For those who missed the news story (buried by US media outlets) about the rape of children and animals in East Timor by UN Peacekeepers, I suggest you first read the following article published by "The Australian" on 26-Mar-2005: Hushed rape of Timor.]
US Congressional Leaders Fight for Victim's Rights in East Timor
By LEIF TEEST
Associated Press Staff Writer
WASHINGTON (AP) - Democratic lawmakers introduced legislation in Congress today they hope will provide relief for Jordanian UN Peacekeepers currently embroiled in an international sex scandal in East Timor. Allegedly, Jordanian peacekeepers routinely engaged in lovemaking with young East Timorese boys in return for food and other international relief aid.
Rep. Barny Frank of Massachusetts and House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi of California say the UNICEF Sexual Bigotry Relief Act will grant affirmative US political asylum to any United Nations personnel persecuted for sexual relations with children.
Frank, who is openly gay, made the issue personal in emotional, unscripted testimony to his Senate colleagues.
"Were these men not simply helping the young boys of East Timor express their sexual awakening by throwing off the burden of religious oppression?" asked Frank. "I can't think of a more generous gift of love than for these Peacekeepers to have shared their natural expression of fatherly love and care. These ambassadors of the United Nations are the true victims here: victims of sexual bigotry and persecution!"
Responding to allegations of quid pro quo sexual favors in exchange for relief assistance, Frank scoffed, "The boys were treated like little princes; they wanted for nothing. Already, the UN has pumped millions of dollars of food into the population of East Timor, including fresh corn, carrots, zucchini, and butter. What do you think these men were doing with this food if not vigorously distributing it to the children?
"The partisan, trumped-up abuse charges are coming from the White House and Bush's following of neo-fascist evangelical Christian extremists," proclaimed Frank.
The new legislation has received widespread support from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). The North American Man-Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) and numerous lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) groups are also standing firmly behind the bill, even though the legislation extends asylum to those engaged in heterosexual, as well as homosexual, acts with children.
"Naturally, we are primarily concerned with the sociopolitical backlash against man-boy love within the global community," read a NAMBLA official statement, "and we are wary of the heteronormative language contained within this legislation. Nevertheless, we accept and understand that all children -- irregardless of age, sexual identity, or gender-preference -- deserve to experience genital, anal, and oral gratification administered by a loving adult. Therefore we open our arms to each and every one of the persecuted Jordanian UN peacekeepers, no matter if they shared their loving affection with boys or girls."
But in East Timor, children were not the only targets UN Peacekeeper affection: two Jordanians were sent back to their home country with injured penises after attempting sexual intercourse with goats indigenous to the region.
When asked whether the Jordanian goat fornicators would also be granted asylum under Frank's controversial legislation, ACLU President Nadine Strossen responded in an exclusive interview with Associated Press reporters.
"Yes, absolutely. While intercourse with livestock is not specifically addressed in this bill, our legal opinion is that these men would also be eligible for asylum based on the sexual immaturity of the goats involved. In essence, these kid goats could also be classified as children, so the protective shield of this bill applies.
"Furthermore, these UN personnel must be granted equal protection under our Constitution's Fourteenth Amendment," Strossen continued, "We defend the civil rights of all people--irregardless of nationality--to engage in sodomy, homosexuality, polygamy, bestiality, necrophilia, and any other freedom of sexual choice. These men have a right to put their penises where ever they want and when ever they want; that is the essence of liberty. Representative Frank's proposed legislation re-affirms that right. This is a progressive step for America: our nation is in dire need of greater cultural and sexual diversity. If necessary, we will fight for these rights all the way to the US Supreme Court."
The Timor affair has also brought together an unlikely alliance between three additional rights groups: PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), NOW (National Organization for Women), and Prostitutes' rights organization, COYOTE (Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics). In a move that some say runs counter to the actions of Frank and Pelosi, PETA, NOW, and COYOTE are calling for action on behalf of the goats.
The three organizations jointly released the following press statement: "Our fight for the dominance of women around the world is not limited to Homo Sapiens females. We must stand up for the rights of misogynist-oppressed female goats in East Timor. Even ruminant mammal sex-workers deserve equal treatment, equal pay, and equal vaginal empowerment."
Margo St. James, president of COYOTE added, "For me, personally, this is a historic moment. Never before has a COYOTE stood up for the rights of a goat."
Women's resource centers at universities nationwide expressed excitement upon learning that the Timorian does are to be featured in a new "Vagina Monologues" skit entitled, "You really got my goat!" Unfortunately, the performance has been delayed as officials from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services debate whether the goats should be brought into America under H-2A visas (temporary agricultural workers), H-2B visas (to perform temporary jobs for which there is a shortage of available qualified American workers), or P-3 visas (artists and entertainers coming to the US in a group for the purpose of presenting culturally unique performances).
Already, the ongoing Timorian controversy has stirred a flurry of action amongst Democratic state legislators across the country. Most notably, Californian State Assemblyperson Mark Leno (D-San Francisco), has introduced an amendment to his previously sponsored "Gender Identity Bill." His original legislation, Assembly Bill 196, passed by the Democratically-controlled California Legislature, and signed into law in 2003 by then-Governor Gray Davis prior to his being recalled, mandates fines of up to $150,000 against business owners for refusing to hire cross-dressing and transsexual job applicants. Leno's new amendment will extend the scope of the new Gender Identity law to apply to persons practicing pedophilia and bestiality. In addition to prohibiting business owners from refusing to hire pedophiles and bestiaphiles, the amendment would allow employees to bring their child and animal partners to their place of employment and to company-sponsored family events without fear of being fired or other repercussions. It would also authorize state benefits, such as California Public Employees' Retirement System (CalPERS) and California Workers' Compensation payouts, to an individual's designated child or animal partner.
Leno has cited reports from NAMBLA, the San Francisco Department of Public Health, the United Goatherders Action Group (UGAG), and several other studies that have documented widespread discrimination against what he calls "sexually-superprogressive people."
In San Francisco, studies indicate that the unemployment rate for those practicing pedophilia and bestiality is over 84 percent. And the homeless rate for inter-speciel domestic partners is over 98 percent, although that figure is disputed by some because it includes dogs, chickens, and other animal-partners that live in outdoor yards.
Leno's amendment would also extend non-discrimination rights to pedophiles and bestiaphiles seeking housing or rental contracts. If the amendment passes and is signed into law, then children and pet exclusion contracts in rental and homeowner association agreements will be invalidated.
"No longer will pedophiles and bestiaphiles be forced to consummate their love in cheap hotels, back alleys, or barnyard stalls," Leno said. All Californians deserve the right to a job, a home, and the sexual partner -- or partners -- of their choice. These brave people and animals are breaking new ground in the eudemonistic growth of our nation. As a progressive society, we must support them in their endeavors."
In anticipation of the passage of Leno's new legislation, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, has instructed city hall employees to start printing new marriage certificates. The certificates, previously revised by Newsom to allow for same-sex marriages, will now allow for marriages between humans and other animals, and will set the minimum age of consent to six years old.
"It's time we stop treating children like children. We allow minors to make other adult decisions such as abortion without parental consent. Why not marriage?" asked Newsom. "Furthermore, it's depreciative and discriminatory to treat animals as owned pets instead of as life partners. We turn to our cats, our dogs, and even goats for emotional companionship. Why must the relationship stop there? Sexual-fullfilment is the next step in the progression of human-animal relations."
But Equality California, California's largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender advocacy and lobbying organization, is concerned Leno's amendment will not make it past the Governor's desk. "It's no secret that [Governor] Schwarzenegger is a right-wing Nazi fascist," stated Geoffrey Kors, Executive Director of Equality California. "But in politics, timing is everything. Our hope is to push this amendment through while Schwarzenegger is out-of-state. If we can get this in front of Lt. Governor Bustamante, it will be signed."
"Gay marriages, taxpayer-funded sexual reassignment surgery, gender identity protection for transgenders and transsexuals...and now, legally-sanctioned pedophilia and bestiality. The snowball is rolling and it's picking up speed. Nothing can stop our re-shaping of America!" said Kors.
Oh, but the rape of children and goats in East Timor by UN Peacekeepers was very real! THAT WAS NO JOKE.
Goats. unbelievable.
Myself, I think you picked the WRONG SUBJECT to do a satire about.
I'm willing to take the criticism as long as I can open some people's eyes to how far our society has fallen in terms of moral and cultural depravity.
The personalities, organizations, and much of the content in my satire is actually factual. I've just taken their arguments and actions and extended them to the next level. As I wrote, "The scary part is, it's not that far removed from reality."
If conservatives are unsuccessful at turning this nation around, this story will no longer be the in realm of satire. At the rate things are going, my guess is that we'll be seeing this as reality within 10 years.
We must end U.S. involvement in this corrupt organization of tyrants, socialists, communists, and America-haters. Get the United Nations out of the U.S. and get the U.S. out of the United Nations!
(But until then, appointing men like John Bolton to the UN is not a bad idea.)
Applause!
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