Soldier blogs bring the front line to the folks at home(take pole)

The sergeant stationed just west of Baghdad was once again recounting the dangers of being on the front line - sometimes with dark humor. He referred to how the "muj" (mujahideen or insurgents) were the gang that couldn't shoot straight, but still represented a considerable threat.

"They're horrible shots," he wrote in an e-mail to his family, "but every once in awhile they get lucky. We lost another Marine the other day."

This is the first war in which American GIs and military families can communicate freely and in real time via e-mail and cellphone, while gathering endless amounts of information about the situation in Iraq via the Internet - some of it trustworthy, much of it unreliable.

Countless soldiers - some recently returned from the war, others still there - have set up their own Web logs or "blogs" and chat rooms, communicating their day-to-day war experience, complaining about the brass (as all soldiers do), and looking for support. All of which raises a question about war in the Age of the Internet: Is all this electronic chatter good or bad for morale and discipline?

Soldiers are able to have direct and frequent e-mail exchanges with friends and families at home as well as check out websites providing a view of how things are going in Iraq that may differ from official accounts. One well-visited blog is written by a 25 year-old Iraqi woman in Baghdad reporting on civilian life.

Personal e-mails and blog entries from Iraq detail what it's like to live in a world of regular mortar attacks or, as one described recently, the weirdness of coming upon a rosebush in full bloom in the midst of the rubble, and smelling the flowers' fragrance bursting through the diesel smoke of battle tanks.

In some dispatches from the front, one hears echoes of the classic GI humor of Bill Mauldin's cartoon characters Willie and Joe back in World War II. For instance, the sergeant west of Baghdad noted with wry humor the timing of insurgent attacks.

"It seems to happen whenever I'm trying to make my way out to the head," he quipped, referring to what sailors and marines call the toilet. "I'm beginning to take it personally."

But his tone quickly sobers when trying to explain dealing with the stress of losing troops. "It's very strange how people react," wrote the sergeant. "We are all shaken, but at the same time, we just keep going. We still laugh and joke about what we were doing at the time of impact, things like that. I imagine outsiders would think us callous. I guess it's just how we cope. At first it was exciting. Now it's just annoying."

A modern twist to war journals Personal diaries and letters have chronicled war since before the American Revolution. What's changed is the immediacy, the easy access to high-speed Internet connections and phone service in Iraq. As recently as the 1990s - the Gulf War and the conflict in Somalia - this wasn't the case.

"The Internet and digital communications devices have democratized the global flow of information for friend and foe alike," says military analyst Loren Thompson of the Lexington Institute in Arlington, Va. "Whether you think that's good or bad, there's no question that it is a revolution with profound implications."

The impact on morale has in fact had both positive and negative impacts on the "good order and discipline" that the military demands in its regulations and traditions. Morten Ender, a sociologist at the US Military Academy at West Point calls it a "double-edged sword."

It emboldens and gives more voice to a range of soldiers, leads to closer scrutiny of the battlefield, and provides better communication with families and society, says Dr. Ender, who studies how military personnel communicate with their families and with each other. But, says Ender, "It also creates new leadership challenges, an explosion of information fostering multiple truths, information overload, and the potential for operational security issues."

This democratization of communication has led junior officers - lieutenants leading platoons and captains commanding companies of soldiers - to set up their own limited-access blogs. They exchange directly the things they're learning in Iraq that could save someone's life tomorrow without waiting for formal Pentagon analysis. This can range from the mundane to the strategic, everything from dealing with sullen subordinates to the best ways to avoid roadside bombs to grief counseling.

On the public page of CompanyCommand.com, the founders of the website state simply: "We want real-world, practical, ready-to-apply stuff."

While the Army and the other services have come to see the usefulness of such online activities, they don't necessarily control them. "The Internet definitely has allowed ordinary troops to by-pass the brass and the public affairs flaks," says retired Army Col. Dan Smith, a military analyst at the Friends Committee on National Legislation in Washington.

Controlling the 'message' Earlier this year, the Army ordered Maj. Michael Cohen, a doctor with a combat support hospital unit near Mosul, to pull the plug on his blog. Major Cohen had been the chief emergency room physician when a suicide bomber struck a US military mess hall four days before Christmas, killing 22 people and injuring many more.

It was one of the deadliest attacks on American troops since the war began, and on his website Dr. Cohen wrote a straight-forward, 1,900-word report of that day. Although he praised his colleagues' team work and overall job performance as "second to none," he did not spare the details.

Not long after that, he wrote his last blog post: "Levels above me have ordered, yes ORDERED, me to shut down this website," he wrote. "They cite that the information contained in these pages violates several Army Regulations. I certainly disagree with this. However, I have made a decision to turn off the site."

The military had its own rationale in closing the site. News reports at the time quoted coalition spokesman Lt. Col. Steven Boylan as saying, "Sometimes a blog might contain subtle nuances from which you can put together a complete picture of our operations, which insurgents can use to attack us."

Another potential is the impact of bad news from home, ranging from a plumbing emergency to a sick child to a "Dear John" letter. This has always been true in wartime. But while letters can be more carefully written and slept on before being sent, e-mail often tends to be fired off immediately, when emotions are high.

Reacting to instant information "The danger is that the soldier becomes distracted worrying about something back home and makes a mistake that puts his life or the lives of his companions at additional risk," says Colonel Smith.

That concern can work in the other direction as well, especially with the many websites in cyberspace that can paint a dire picture in Iraq - whether true or not.

(For example, this reporter received an e-mail from the young wife of a marine in Iraq. She'd come across a website reporting the recent capture and execution of 15 American troops. "Maybe you can let me know if you have heard anything like this," she said in an e-mail. "I just wish I didn't stumble across the website, because it makes me all nervous and paranoid. I really need to stop reading this stuff!")

Not all GI blogs are posted by men. "Grey Eagle," the writer of "afemalesoldier.com" describes herself as a 35-year-old wife, the mother of two teenage sons, and a combat medic with the 101st Airborne Division and about to deploy to Iraq. "Sgt. Lizzie's" blog, called "Life in this Girl's Army," looks for the humor in everything - even having to work at the notorious Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.

Many soldiers also find blogging a useful way to help deal with reorientation to civilian life in the United States - what Vietnam vets called being "back in the world."

Chris Missick, an Army Reserve sergeant, recently finished a year's tour of duty in Iraq, during which time he kept up his website "A Line in the Sand."

"After I returned home, everything I did felt like a dream," he wrote the other day. "I would visit my favorite Mexican food restaurant here in Southern California and swear I was in a dream. Sitting in the car with my family felt like something I would soon wake up from as well. When the moments did feel like I was actually experiencing them, there was this nearly oppressive sensation that it would all be over soon ... and I would once again be boarding a plane in my DCU's [Desert Camouflage Uniform]."

At other times, he wrote, "In some ways, the process of reintegration into the life you left behind is more difficult than getting used to being in theater," wrote Sergeant Missick. "I can say without hesitation though that I am enjoying every minute of this life in ways I had never imagined."

"Be sure to check back," he concluded. "I have been asked to speak with a classroom of 2nd Graders in the Los Angeles area and plan on sharing the details."

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FROM SGT CHRIS
A Final Thank You From Theater

As I sit in my tent this afternoon, I’m writing to you realizing that this may be my last post while in theater. With our re-deployment impending, our access to regular internet usage has declined and there is still so much we have to finish before we leave. I never thought I would write this, but leaving will be bittersweet. Anyone who has been deployed can attest to the feeling you have when you are about to leave a place like this. The desire of a return to some semblance of normalcy runs deep, it consumes your thoughts everyday. Time passes between you and your battle buddies by talking about all the things you wish you could be doing right that moment. Conversations turn to thinking about what your friends are enjoying on any given night. You realize after a 12 hour day that it’s Saturday, and back home your friends are sleeping in, and doing whatever they feel like doing that day. You wish you could just get into your car and drive, anywhere.

I always say I’d go the local Starbucks and buy a nice venti latte, maybe even buy two or three if I want. My mind goes to afternoon drives down Pacific Coast Highway, pulling off in Hunting Beach or Seal Beach to go to my favorite Mexican food restaurants, or meeting up with friends in the evening to sit around and talk about politics, and life and dreams we have, all while practicing the zen art of shooting darts. I think about sitting around with my friend Ian playing guitar and writing our own compositions for no one but ourselves, just to relieve stress. I think about walking around Barnes and Noble on a Sunday afternoon, browsing the titles and thumbing through my favorite magazines. If you want to know what you crave as a soldier who is deployed, think of all the routines you have, the routines you take for granted, and those are the things you want to do. Think about dropping the kids off for school, of watching television in your favorite armchair in the evening, or even walking through the grocery store. You can even think about the things you don’t enjoy, like going to a normal day job or cleaning your house or apartment, and I guarantee that there is a soldier craving those activities right now. They are all things I know I’ve said I’ll never take for granted again.

And yet, while vowing to never take things for granted, I am looking back on this year, even the lowest points, and realizing that these are things I may not experience again and that maybe there were times I even took this for granted. In a way, I’ll miss the conversations I’ve had with my friends here, about all the things we’re missing. I’ll miss the sense of purpose you have when you wake up for a shift and know that you’re part of something larger than yourself. I’ll miss the solidarity you feel with men and women who are going through all the same feelings you are, but who are all enduring through them together, in good times and bad. I’ll miss the sense of anticipation that there is finality to the hard times, that there is a definite end to this long and strange chapter in anyone’s life. There is something to be said about knowing you can’t be here forever, that no matter how you feel, things will get better, and they’ll do so by the mere fact that soon, never soon enough, but soon you will be home.

I write to you all today knowing that even if we only exchanged a few e-mails, I feel as though I made a friend for life. I also write this entry today with regret that I was never able to write back to all of you. In fact, I can tell you now that throughout this year, the only regret I can say I will live with was not writing to more of you. When those glorious days off would come around, I always had such great expectations that I would sit down at a computer and knock out a couple hundred e-mails just to say thanks for the support. Unfortunately, on far too many of those days off I usually just went to chow and stayed in my tent reading a book or preparing a law school application. For those of you who read this, I want you to know I appreciate absolutely every word you have said. The support was overwhelming, and I am not ashamed to say that many of your letters brought tears to my eyes. Though my blog may have put a face and a name to what may seem like a faceless war for many of you, the e-mails, the care packages, the letters and the support put a name and sometimes a face as well to the heart of true American patriots. As I said to some of you, soldiers may be the fists of American might and goodwill, but you are all the heart and the backbone of America. You support us in our mission, you give us the strength to go on when the days seem so long you just want to throw up your hands and quit. It always seemed that letters of support came at the moments I needed them most, and they were always uplifting. Even the letters from folks who disagreed gave me strength, because I knew in those moments that what I was writing was being read and was having an impact. My mission was not to change hearts or even to change minds on the war, but merely to open minds as to what one soldier was experiencing, what he was thinking about, what was weighing particularly heavy on his heart.

The heart of America’s patriots is one of the things I have discovered more than anything else on this deployment. Despite the rhetoric that seemed to go back and forth in the United States on the war, the one thing I am most proud of is the hope that the American people hold for those in Iraq. People from across the world may find it hard to believe that the worlds greatest power would be willing to expend its treasure, and even more importantly some of its greatest citizens, just to help out another nation. Regardless of where we started with this war, I believe that this is where we currently stand. We are an incredible nation, I feel that in the depths of my bones, I can sense it in my spirit. Your support of us solidifies that sense, it shows me what being a patriot is, it encourages me to do the same when I return. I too plan on “Adopting a Platoon” once I am a civilian again, on writing letters of support to those soldiers currently away from friends and family.

To answer a quick question, I do plan on continuing my blogging experience when I return. In fact, between now and then I’ll probably have a lot to write. Once our unit is safe and sound in the US again, I’ll probably have even more experiences to share with you. I am definitely going to try and post from our re-deployment station, but I am not sure if time and internet access will permit it. Be sure to check back around mid March, when I’ll probably begin posting more regularly again.

I also want you to know that I am thinking about a small writing project along the lines I wrote about above regarding patriotism in America when I return, probably involving another blog. I have sensed the heart of American patriots, and want to do everything I can to foster that in the coming months. If you have an interest in helping me specifically with the project, I have set up another e-mail account for this. (chrismissick@yahoo.com) I probably won’t have a chance to check it until I return, but I assure you I will be much more diligent with my e-mail once I have more time on my hands. So as far as future plans, stay tuned.

SGT CHRIS

Ten Things I Won't Miss

I am finally recovering from a sinus infection that has plagued me this last week. They have something over here they refer to as the Kuwaiti Crud, a form of congestion that seems to consume you when you first get in theater. For some reason, with the exception of being sick in the summer, I managed to allude any ill health throughout my deployment until the very end.

Indeed, I can say we have neared the end. In the span of a few weeks or days, I will be on a plane bound for the United States. There is no feeling quit like the one I am experiencing. There is so much to anticipate in these closing days, and yet still so much to reflect on. I imagine it will take a little while to decompress everything that has built up inside over the last year, from the good to the bad. Nonetheless, I look forward to coming home. I was fortunate enough to have been able to purchase a house which I’ll be moving into when I get back. It’s something that a lot of soldiers plan on wile they’re deployed. Because we have such a great opportunity to save money and because we have the benefit of VA home loans, many of the people I serve with have set their sights on fulfilling a key aspect of the American dream when they return. I am fortunate and owe a debt of gratitude to my family for helping me with the process. I was able to use JAG to get a special power of attorney for my parents, who in turn made the dream a reality. A year ago, I wouldn’t have dreamt of the opportunity to own my own home this young, but today I am able to stand proud as a homeowner. Buying a home really is a humbling experience. To enter into the “ownership society,” you also realize the heavy responsibilities it means as well. I can’t say I am not a little nervous about the whole prospect, but any sense of nerves is overshadowed by the joy of knowing I now have my own home.

In speaking with a friend the other night, he asked me what I was planning on doing when I got home. The answers probably won’t surprise you. In thinking about what I wanted to do, I quickly transitioned to the things I’ll be happy not to have to do. As a result, I compiled a small, rather tame list of 10 things I will be happy to leave behind when we re-deploy.

1. Walking what feels like a mile to the showers only to be covered in sand once you come back to your tent. Not running out of water when you’re taking a shower, or having to use a bottle of water to brush your teeth.
2. Relaxing in July and August in the shade of 120 degrees.
3. The aggressive fly’s. At home when you swat at a fly it goes away. Here, when you swat at a fly, they seek revenge.
4. The smell. Everything here has a smell, from the sand to the air.
5. The generators, the constant hum of a generators, trucks, artillery shells in the distance.
6. Living out of duffel bag or black footlocker.
7. Checking your boots in the morning for camel spiders and scorpions.
8. The port-o-potties, especially in the summer. Using a real porcelain, clean toilet that flushes will be heaven.
9. Finding dead rats in the rat traps in the middle of the night.
10. Sleeping in a tent with 8-10 other guys.

Minor inconveniences they may be, but they are still things you look forward to leaving behind.

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