I'll buy that.
Posted on 04/26/2005 2:55:08 PM PDT by brbethke
Er, that is, yes, George Lucas does still have it.
Really, I can't say enough about how impressed I am that he has saved the biggest and best surprise for last. This is no ordinary story-teller's feat: for 28 years he has kept one essential piece of misdirection going and one utterly mind-blowing surprise under wraps. I am speaking, of course, of the one critical question that underpins the entire evolution of the whole storyline; that of the true identity of the evil Galactic Emperor.
That's right. Senator Palpatine is a red herring, a sock-puppet. The Emperor is actually...
Oh, this is too good, too brilliant, and I can't help but shake my head in admiration. George has planted so many subtle clues throughout the entire series. It's all been right out there in the open from the very beginning, yet no one has come even close to guessing the truth. Why, in his first meeting with young Luke Skywalker, in the original Star Wars -- long before it was ever titled Episode IV: A New Hope or anyone but George envisioned that it would someday be a seven-movie series -- the only other person who knows the secret, Obi-Wan Kenobi, almost gives it all away: "Vader was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force." And later, in Return of the Jedi, in the midst of his dissembling explanation of Jedi moral relativism, Obi-Wan drops another critical clue: "When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed."
There are yet more clues in The Phantom Menace, and even more explicit clues in Attack of the Clones, again mostly in the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi. George's original intention, of course, was to reveal the ultimate horrific truth in that final climactic light-saber battle between Darth and Luke, at the end of Return of the Jedi, in the Imperial Throne Room aboard the Death Star II. But something stayed his hand then; maybe he felt the audience wasn't ready for such a profound shock, or maybe, genius that he is, he was already envisioning that there would someday be twelve-disc DVD collector's sets in need of many extras. In any case, one absolutely essential line of dialogue was deleted in the final cut, even though James Earl Jones had spent three full days in Skywalker Studios, nailing down the utterly perfect delivery of the words, "Take that, you castrating bitch!"
That's right. There is no evil Emperor. Padme Amidala -- Luke's mother, Annikin's wife -- is the evil Empress.
Not only that, but like would-be assassin Zam Wessel in Attack of the Clones, her maternal grandmother was a Clawdite shape-shifter, and there's at least one touch of Gungan in the genetic woodpile, which explains those strangely bulging eyes she has in Empire Strikes Back. Princess Leia, of course, is not really Luke's twin sister; she's actually Mace Windu's final failure, and the result of a secret Jedi attempt to clone and replace Amidala. Unfortunately, while the Kaminoans tried many times to reverse the traditional process and produce a good clone from an evil person, in the end all they wound up with was a smart-mouthed babe who looked really hot in a bronze bikini.
There are so many other wonderful surprises waiting in store for the fans in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. For example, thanks to the wonders of CGI and the many hard-working geniuses at Industrial Light & Magic, we will at last be able to see the long-awaited cinematic reunion of Christopher Lee (Count Dooku) and the late Peter Cushing (Grand Moff Tarkin). Not only that, but in a moment that is certain to win Lucas the Academy Award for best screenplay, we will see --
[Writer's Wife enters study, whacks Writer on the head with a rolled-up newspaper, and says, "What the *Hell* are you telling these people?! You and your close personal friend George Lucas? Since when? Now stop lying and tell it straight!"]
Excuse me, where was I? Oh yeah, er -- what I meant to say is, sorry, but this movie is going to be another example of beautiful cinematography and brilliant special effects in the service of pedestrian acting and an infantile story line. So go ahead, take the kids, buy a jumbo bucket of popcorn, let the rugrats scream and have fun, and for three hours take your mind off the hook and imagine what might have been, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
I'll buy that.
awwwwww man!!!
Except that I've read the books and I don't think so.
Natalie, what big ... eyes you have!
Thanks a lot for ruining it for me.
The problem with Lucas is he got serious, lost his sense of humor which made the first three Star Wars so successful. Why? Because that`s how people are in reality. Now he got the "Star Trek; Next Generation" curse. Everyone is a freggin` programmed acting mannequin.
"That's right. Senator Palpatine is a red herring, a sock-puppet. The Emperor is actually..."
The Emperor is actually toast, in the last episode.
What is on everyones mind when they talk to Hitlery.
Picture of Natalie exploring the dark side.....
http://www.blazinbeauties.com/images/natalie_portman_pictures/natalie_portman00.jpg
Common, Slicksadick. The director shouted "Find Uranus".
The story line is already published...a graphic novel, which translates the movie script to the printed page, and was authorized by Lucas, is already available....there's no suprises in this movie...it's like the movie TITANIC, we all know what's going to happen.
Just think 10 years ago these pictures would be shocking, but now every girl at the mall is proud to go around with her rear sticking out.
LOL!
Ugggggghhhhhh.
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