HBO's Maher and Martin Short Dis the South: "Goobers, Snake Handlers, Low Brows and Jesus Freaks"?

05. 03.05 | fight_truth_decay

[fight_truth_decay]

The Laura Ingraham Show, today May 3rd, spotted a clip of guest and actor Martin Short with host Bill Maher popping off insults{or was it just all edgy fun} on the South, Jesus Freaks, Snake Handlers, Low Brows and Goobers on April 29's HBO “REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER”.

I discovered and cut the transcript from Episode #310 for FReeper read - Real Time...With Maher and Short. Full text available at http://www.safesearching.com/billmaher/print/t_hbo_realtime_042905.htm

CUT

MAHER: All right, let's meet our panel. [applause] All right, let's meet our panel. He is the Lt. Governor of Maryland and a rising star in the Republican Party. Please welcome Lt. Governor Michael Steele right over here. [applause]

MAHER: She's a correspondent for National Public Radio, whose latest book is Trust. Farai Chideya, our old friend. [applause] [cheers] How you doing?

MAHER: And he is the Emmy and Tony-winning comedy legend whose latest movie, “Jiminy Glick in La La Land” opens May 6 th all across the country. Martin Short right over here! [applause] [cheers]
MARTIN SHORT: Thank you…It's “La La Wood,” Bill.

CUT

MAHER: Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy – and Bush was the perfect guy – who they'd want to have over for pot-roast. And George Bush is that guy. He does that well. You'd like to have him over for pot-roast. He reminds you of yourself. Okay. Well, now he's been over, he's had the pot-roast. But he's getting drunk—[laughter]—and now he's talking about stem cells and Terri Schiavo and gay marriage. And now he's the guest that won't leave. [laughter] [applause] [cheers] I mean, come on—

STEELE: All right. Go ahead. There's a point somewhere there. What's your point?

MAHER: The 40 – he has a 44% approval rating. The Republican Congress has a 35% approval rating; 78% want Dennis Hastert removed from his feeding tube.

STEELE: [overlapping] But that's typical for any Congress. That's typical for any Congress.
MAHER: I'm sorry?
STEELE: That's typical for Congress. I mean, generally, you'll find the congressional numbers to be way, way low. Typically, you do.
MAHER: [laughs] This guy…
SHORT: So it's – so it's a good thing?
STEELE: That's generally how people feel about Congress. I mean, you know, the House and Senate.
SHORT: So it's good.
MAHER: I don't know – I don't know if it's that low.
STEELE: Yeah, it is. Trust me.
MAHER: But I think – but I think, to the Republicans, it doesn't matter if they're unpopular, because they're like a playoff team. They don't care how they do during the season, because the playoffs are the election time. And at election time, they can always push the buttons – the fear buttons. They can always rally their Jesus freaks, and then they will win the election. [applause]

CUT

MARTIN SHORT: You know, I saw a thing on “60 Minutes II” the other night, where they were – it was a piece on people who still believe – it's in the South – but they believe that if you—[laughter]—no, no, no, but I'm saying it's in the South because they all had accents—[laughter]—and they had snakes. “And the Lord said if you hold the snake and let it bite you, it's okay because the Lord let it bite you!”

FARAI CHIDEYA: Doesn't work for you?
SHORT: And you had a good feeling that those people didn't vote for Mr. Kerry.
BILL MAHER: Right. [laughter]
SHORT: And I think that that is – I wondered that without that kind of intellect, would George Bush have won by three percent? [applause]
MAHER: I agree with you. And when – I tell you, when people in such places see that – not that they watch this show, but if they catch it, they will say you're demeaning them. You're saying – and I always say, “You are what you do.” If you believe the thing about—
SHORT: I didn't demean them. I said that they “had a snake that…” [mimes holding snake to his face] [laughter]
CHIDEYA: I have to—
MAHER: But if you believe that, you are a goober. I'm sorry. [laughter]
STEELE (Lt. Gov. MICHAEL STEELE, (R) Maryland): Well, but – I mean, but just—
MAHER: I'm not – I'm not ridiculing them.
STEELE: --but the reality, Bill, I mean – God bless you, you're high-brow, we get it. You know, you have your latte in the morning—
MAHER: No, they're just low-brow. [laughter]

SHORT: Yeah.
STEELE: --and do you thing. But the reality—[cheers]—no, but you know what? I mean, that's just – that's just – that's just plain dumb. Because they're Americans and they have a point of view that in this country—
CHIDEYA: [overlapping] But, Michael—
MAHER: [overlapping] They're snake-handlers—
STEELE: [overlapping] But this is the point—
SHORT: [overlapping] I'm not saying – I'm not saying that. I'm saying that they're not – and you know this, you know this – and if you saw the special—
STEELE: Know what?
SHORT: That they're not terribly bright people. [laughter]
STEELE: Oh, God.
SHORT: [overlapping] I'm talking—wait a second!
CHIDEYA: You guys—
SHORT: Let me clarify something.
STEELE: [overlapping] Oh, that is – that is such—
SHORT: I am talking—
CHIDEYA: This is why the South says that they are going to rise again.
STEELE: [overlapping]—arrogant twaddle. I've never—
SHORT: [overlapping] I am not saying – wait a second—
STEELE: [overlapping]—it is so arrogant.
SHORT: I'm not saying “the South.” I'm not saying “the South.” I'm saying the people with the snakes. [laughter]
CHIDEYA: You just said, “the South.” You know, I have to say, we're actually from the South. Maryland is the Mason/Dixon Line.
SHORT: [overlapping] But wait a second! But, listen, I have a movie opening in the South, for God's sake. [laughter]

As Laura pointed out on her show, Mahar had interrupted his guests by saying: "Wait a second. I just want to say something. We do try to reach out every week to get more conservatives in the audience."

[fight_truth_decay]

Canadian funny man (?) Martin Short

Why would Short dis the South? Especially when the aging actor/comedian depends on ticket sales from his upcoming film “Jiminy Glick in La La Land”, I mean "La La Wood" opening May 6th..what was Short thinking?

Critic, DAVID GERMAIN, from the Associated Press fires a shot at Short and "Glick":" a painful bore that leaves plenty of time to ponder how many favors Short called in (and what bridges he may have burned) to snag Steve Martin, Susan Sarandon, Sharon Stone, Kevin Kline, Kurt Russell and others for cameos in this fiasco.... Despite such comic talents as Jan Hooks, Elizabeth Perkins, Janeane Garofalo, Linda Cardellini and John Michael Higgins (a veteran of Guest's ad-libbed "Best in Show" and "A Mighty Wind") line after line of outrageously delivered dialogue lands with a thud."
"Watching these gifted performers bluster through Glickland is like seeing an endless parade of earnest kids do stinging belly-flops off the diving board at their school swimming pool. You really feel for their suffering." A Gold Circle Films release,rated R for language and crude sexual content.

[Kenny Bunkport]

They're both going to hell.

[Kenny Bunkport]

Well, now he's been over, he's had the pot-roast. But he's getting drunk—[laughter]—

Idiots. Not only has Bush not had a drink in like 20 years, he's likely more intelligent that Maher and his audience put together.

[Kenny Bunkport]

Martin ("a few cards") Short ("of a full deck")

[escapefromboston]

[escapefromboston]

Completely mental, I must say

[Wneighbor]

One Goober of a Low-Brow, southern Jesus Freak checkin' in.

Sorry, I draw the line at handling those demon creatures from hell... but I could sure dump a barrel of rattlers in Shorty's lap in a hurry.

[RegulatorCountry]

If all these guys have is this petty regionalist name-calling, it must be pretty bad for them. Heck, let them vent in front of a bunch of like-minded people, all their heads bobbing in unison. They're only digging a deeper hole for themselves.

[Rummyfan]

I hope Steele learned something from this appearance in the lion's den.

On another note, who do the libs and MSM constantly cite the President'a 'approval numbers'? He's not running for re-election in 2008. Talk about meaningless polls......

[Cyclopean Squid]

Now THAT's high-brow! Oh, imagine, in hundreds of years art students are going to be studying Short's and Maher's work, and despairing that they will never be able to emulate such genius. Two giants whose golden oeuvre will bestride the Art World for all time!

Such self-satisfied, supercilious, sophomoric dullards.

[AndrewC]

MARTIN SHORT: You know, I saw a thing on “60 Minutes II” the other night,

Well, we all know how trustworthy that network is.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

I hate to inform Short that unless a person is a member of one of these snake handling cults, every Southerner thinks they're nuts. Leave it to a Hollywood type to think that all religious Southerners are like that.

[WhistlingPastTheGraveyard]

Heck, let them vent in front of a bunch of like-minded people, all their heads bobbing in unison.

Maher's show is great for that. You should have heard his audience cheering wildly at every point when Bill read OBL's pre-election statement. It was surreal.

The best way to unmask these people is to give them a mic and let 'em talk. They do all the work for us.

[RichInOC]

A lot of Southerners would just as soon remove Bill Maher's and Martin Short's heads and defecate in the holes, were it not for the simple fact that they're already full of crap.

[DugMac]

As opposed to what? A Birkenstock wearing, patchouli soaked art history major who thinks you can cure cancer with crystals?

[DugMac]

As opposed to what? A Birkenstock wearing, patchouli soaked art history major who thinks you can cure cancer with crystals?

[DugMac]

As opposed to what? A Birkenstock wearing, patchouli soaked art history major who thinks you can cure cancer with crystals?

[AZHua87]

They both are ---

[26lemoncharlie]

Two more so-called "FUNNY MEN" of th eleft. Their Careers are ending prematurely because they are really NOT FUNNY! There A$$-HOLES!! AND nothing more. Like Franken and Garafalo, they are only funny because the other A$$-Holes told them they were funny.

Short played himself in the movie "Captain Ron" and A$$-Hole!

[rmgatto]

Maher and Short are truly a couple of undersized, psuedo-intellectual pansies--second rate entertainers who will be forgotten before their times.